EU

Friday, September 29, 2006


ALEC BALDWIN TO SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR: YOU'RE A "PUSHY PRIMA DONNA."

That's what an inside source said, the usually renewed character actor called the new queen of horror. In The Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing (Gellar's first NON-horror film in LONG time) The former Ms. Summers co-stars with the one damn, good time Jack Ryan, in a May-December romantic movie.

In light of Baldwin's recent divorce fiascoes with Oscar winner/Ex wife, Kim Bassinger (too numerous to mention) over his daughter, has driven the boss of The Cooler insane. Ergo, he is driving the film's crew and Gellar herself crazy.

Gellar who has built a rep of being "very professional and hardworking", but Gellar didn't like being called a diva and "recently called (sarcastically) Baldwin a nice guy," only because mainstream media forces were on the set that day.

While the crew tried to be understanding about Baldwin's legal woes, it allegedly led Gellar to declare him a "bastard" and a "tyrant" whenever he wasn't on set or stuck in his trailer.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Paris Hilton - Nothing in this World Music Video (NEW)

Here's Hilton's latest CRAPTACULAR music video. Try to enjoy, if U can.

QUICKIE MOVIE REVIEWS.

Everyone's Hero: I walked into the wrong cineaplex, or I wouldn't even have bother with this pre-cool Disney Channel crap. The little boy was ok, for a kid with no personality. The talking bat and ball might could have been more entertaining instead of just annoying. Assholish Robin Williams generates what few real laughs are in this movie (as the key villain) and the talking ball (voiced by Mel Gibson's nemesis Rob Reiner, doing his best Billy Crystal impression (and succeeding at times.)

Being honest about the homeless situation (then and now) and Negro League ball with the little black girl, was truly interesting without turning it into a history lesson. William H. Macy is wasted as the villain's stooge and the voice of Darling is just bitchingly repellent as Babe's Ruth legendary bat. Plus, shouldn't the guy voice the long fallic object and the chick voice the tiny,breast-like circular ball?
Score: Ensign



The Protector:

The action was fantastic, if at times it had nothing to do with the story. Like Jet Li and Bruce Li before him, Tony Jaa project his presence & emotions well on-screen when generally not killing people. But, lacks Jackie Chan humanity and clearly need to get a sense of humor about the absurdity of his situatuation. Xing Jing, as the twisted feminist queen-pin of crime Rose is the real find here. She displays the type of talents to get to the top of female Asian actress royalty (Lucy Lui, and Kelly Hu.) Also, her command of the language is clearly superior to other foreign Asian actresses her field (Ziyi Zhang [who speaks English well now, but very slowly]and retarded-neo racist/garbled portrayal by Gong Li [Miami Vice.])It would have been nice, if Jaa looked at the hot mud wrestling girl who helped him, liked he looked at his kidnapped elephants in this flick though.
Score:Lt.






Movie Rating Legend-

Ensign- Rookie
Lt.- Decent/O.K.
Lt. Commander-Very Good
Commander- Great
Captain- Excellent
Admiral- Spectacular


Catch Up Reviews:

Fast & Furious Tokyo Drift- Lt.
My Super Ex-Girlfriend-Lt. Cmr.

Monday, September 18, 2006


CRUISE LIFTS HIS MIDDLE FINGER TO REDSTONE- WITH HIS $200 MILLION FILM INVESTMENT!!

Dan Snyder, Owner of the Washington Redskins has made this cash commitment to Cruiser & producing partner Paula Wagner for "first look" at all upcoming projects. This includes a bonus $3 million to cover overheads expenses.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Ocean Symphony Starring Jack Black

Provided By:shiftingbaselines
Jack Black stars as the symphony conductor in this hilarious public service announcement about the slow degradation of our oceans. Also starring Madeleine Stowe, Henry Winkler, Tom Arnold, Unforgiven's Saul Rubinek and Dave Foley.

Saturday, September 09, 2006


KIDMAN SLAMS JOLIE! SHE CALLS HER CHARITY WORK, A DEFLECT FROM HER ADULTERY.

Academy Award winner & Tomb Raider, Angelina Jolie has made a new enemy, Oscar winner Nicole Kidman who call her work a publicity stunt to deflect personal criticism (the Brangelina scandal) and to elevate her work as “any better than a nurse working in a hospital, but she's getting the publicity for her contribution."

Kidman, has her herself been made a good will ambassador (like Jolie) and is going to India. Jolie has used her role to give monies to developing countries, including donating the cash from the photos of her baby 'shovel'” (with Pitt) to UNICEF.

"I have a friend who is a
doctor and every year he works in Africa for two months for no money,” said The Others actress. She just wants equal public billing for those doing the real work.

Correction: According to E! News, the main source for this story-an Irish Newspaper that claimed the quotes in this tale, now admit they made them up. We here at Data Hard apologize for any harm to anyone reading or attacked by this story, especially Kidman and Jolie. Angie, I'm Sorry.

Saturday, September 02, 2006


CELEBRITY HOMOPHOBIA- DAVID SPADE: HOMOPHOBIC ASSHOLE.

Adam Sandler’s little bitch, David Spade was at commercial shoot for IBM computers. This was done with a Hollywood past and present feel-with all the archetypes of all the big stars. The smug comic was doing a silent cameo as a mean, arrogant star being driven around on a golf cart.

However, back stage he was stalking around his tiny cell phone- attacking his cast and crew mates at the Universal Studios stage by stating, "It's pretty gay around here.”



Worse, he would only say this when certain people passed by- so he could cowardly attacks them while making it seem like conversation. Then, as the commercial was winding down- he then said to longtime director Joe Pytka “What about Hershey(TM) over there” by attacking an unidentifiable crew person (he was mistaking for an actor) as which his way of attacking a black person as gay (Her/She {phonetic} )and using the dark chocolate of the product- emphasizing the black angle.)

This was despite the fact that this person was 1) NOT GAY!! 2) He and Spade hadn't spoken to each other that day and 3) DID NOT know each other at all. Plus, Spade was dressed as Vegas-like drug dealer with bad Fu-Man Chu beard.

When the other actors heard Spade speak- they claimed to hear him attacking his friend and meal ticket, Click star Adam Sander based on his bad acting and going after his manhood based on his role in the awful…ly successful remake, The Longest Yard.

This is a terrible display by a public figure with the emotional growth of E from Entourage. Vincent Chase cancelled a potential meeting with Spade ,to cameo in his next movie.

Comedy Central should fire the longtime loser (on that Hollywood program) & replace him with actually funny comics like Arsenio Hall, Sarah Silverman, or Jay Mohr. At the very least these sponsors in particular, should END all ties with his show until massive, multiple APOLOGIES (a la Mel Gibson) are issued to ALL parties with NO comedic tendencies whatsoever.

Later.