MEDIABYTES: NEO TO WED & NICOLE KIDMAN GETS HER MAN,BY PRE-NUP.

Kickboxing actors Keanu Reeves and London's Claire Forlani (The Medallion) will get hitched in December this year. The two have been "quietly" dating each other for just over three years. Hollywood prays that the media continues to leave them alone.

In other British news, since they have reclaimed imperialist control through reality TV- Nicole Kidman finally made her union with country singer Keith Urban official in the UK. Urban wins $600,000 of Kidman's $150 million fortune for each year of wedded bliss. However,he is a chronic abuser of alcohol and drugs. If he should take up either habit again, "he leaves with nothing."

Bender & Al Gore, together again, for the first time.

Futurama just got picked-up for 13 new shows on Comedy Central, and this maybe the reason it happened.

Note: Sorry, for the delay-it was cumbersome to get Youtube and Blogger data to fuse,like it should have.

AN AWFUL LUCAS BLACK ALMOST RUINS THE TOKYO DRIFT( A CINEMA TREATISE.)

The move to Tokyo definitely revives that cool factor & provide the culture clash problems experienced by the leads, particularly Nick Cannon's Twinkie, I Mean Bob Wow...It's time for one of you to lose the braids. First, it's generic. Two, how is the crowd supposed to tell you two apart? Also, Nathalie Kelley give a decent debut. She seems to almost, perfectly epitomizes the soul- trapped between dueling worlds. Also, you'll be playing Guess Her Ethnicity to anytime she's on camera.

Here's RD.1:
OK. Her name is Neela which Indian- cause I watch ER and that chick from Bend It... is named Neela. But, up close- she clearly looks Latina, but at a distance she's waifish but, athletically tiny- like a Japanese girl. Still, she talks with a British accent. Finally, she has the biggest, unending pairs of knee-high whore boots, I've seen in a year. I, I'm gonna say Australian, Wink!!

Wink Martindale (Debt): Correct! You win $10,000!! DING-DING!! Anyway...

Stealing the show, is Brain Tee- as the darkly cool villain and Sung Kane, as the hero- who gives the idiot, white boy at shot at drifting. Remove Black's lunkhead and these two exude a true fight of good and evil. Have the studios learned nothing from the Rush Hour movies?

Black's portrayal is so annoying and weak- it is beyond description. His SAG card should be revoked- if that's the best he can do. His lame half-arsed acting (and crappy accent) is so horrible, that I thought I was Larid Hamilton on NBC's Treasure Hunters.

Plus, Kelley's role is a little cold & distant at times,like I'm watching humanized B'Elanna Torres from Star Trek: Voyager. Except, she lacks both the heart, and depth of that seminal Sci-fi character. Also, Wow's Twinkie never gets enough scene time. Still, the racing is cool as ever and the drifting allows for the film's message of, finesse to win over the sheer power (and nitro.)

I can already see the next set of prime-time reality shows stealing the opening when black suited Tee points to his two Asian cowgirls to say "On your mark, Get set" while he suavely tells his contestants to boldly "Go!"

Also, watch a truly cool cameo by America's favorite action asshole (before The Rock sadly) and original Furious star Vin Disel, at the movie's climax.

BRITANY DENIES FOLLOWING IN BRANGELINA'S FOOTSTEPS FOR NAMIBIAN BIRTH.

Poor Britany Spears has denied these reports. Despite hearing about the smooth and surprisingly private birth, they were able to share among the African people. For the cost of a moderate grand prize on Deal or No Deal, she would have power to grant or deny (through the government) reporters and photogs into the country, plus how close they can come within her presence.

However, Namibian Tourism Head, Leon Jooste claimed that arrangements were made for visas for the entire K-Fed family to visit (including the apparently, abused baby Sean Preston and her whigger husband/wanna-be rapper Kevin Federline.)

SUIT UP! DOGGIE TAKES HIS COMEBACK TO A CINEAPLEX, STAT!!

At the Tony Awards, Comeback kid Neil Patrick Harris (How I met Your Mother) confirmed that he is in negotiations to star in a adult,big screen version of his hit show, Doggie Howser M.D. for Fox 2000 films. It will be "very steamy and R rated" and have a "Marcus Welby meets The Young Interns" feel, claimed Harris. If it hits, he thinks this could vault him into the $20 million club, or close to it, anyway.

EXPOSE: The Real Reason- GSN's Lingo- went off the air,for almost two years!

There was a power struggle between then-new co-host (Sexy, but plastic Stacy Hayes) and famed U.S. game show host Chuck Woolery (Scrabble, Love Connection.) After the British bombshell arrived, she quickly and shamelessly took over most of Chuck's on-air duties, as "judge" on the show. This left almost nothing for the popular taskmaster to do, but read off the scores. Plus, their off camera interactions were said to be non-existent or icy at best.

At that point- Chuck threatened to quit, unless of his duties were returned to him and Stacy's role was diminished. Since GSN (Game Show Network) loves Woolery's work, as they run all his old shows and they get a fairy decent number-sided with him and forced all his demands on the show's producer Phil Gurin (Weakest Link.) The gap, in between season 3 and 4 was to allow time for Staci's contract to expire. With Hayes officially fired, Chuck allowed for "Bygones" and happily signed up for more seasons as Lingo's MC.

It is even said that Chuck helped to, hand pick his popular new co-host Shandi Finnessey (a highly, likeable, giggling fan girl with an odd crush on Chuck.) Lingo remains GSN's highest rated and long running show in the network's history.

Still, Stacy may not done with the word game yet. Rumors are starting to persist, that Hayes may host- an all new version of Lingo in the U.K., produced by Gurin. The UK show's first season may use, the current American set and film after the U.S. version completes its fifth season, of its wildly successful new jackpot format.

MEGA STORY 1- I HELP GET JACKMAN WORK, ALANIS WILL LEARN, PITT NEWS & CUBE TAKES......RESPONSIBILITY 4 HIS ACTIONS


This is a fast moving news day, so today's update will encompass many subjects.

Hugh Jackman has officially snatched away the part Russell Crowe wanted in Baz Luhrmann's next movie musical. He will play a "rough hewn cattle drover," that will star opposite Nicole Kidman. She will be a "English aristocrat" who will inherit cattle land the size of Belgium,at the beginning of WWII. Jackman will be a "dark rival" for the land (similar to Michael Douglas in Romancing the Stone..Is he lover or foe?) He beat out Heath Ledger for the role, who will do a film called Dirt Music, directed by Phillip Noyce of Patriot Games. The 'Rouge director is clamming there is still a supporting role for Ledger..Whatever the hell that means.

Next, Soul-singer Alanis Morissette and party-guy actor Ryan Reynolds have called it quits. The formerly engaged couple met a party hosted by- Drew Barrymore, back in 2002. The one time God claimed- he was a "supportive creature" and felt "loved by him, in a trampoline sort of way." The writing of their failed romance may have been on the wall, she said "We already felt like we were married." The entertainingly, arrogant Blade: Trinity star couldn't be reached for comment,but must be snickering at Alani's final comment (from her interview with People.com)..."He's always very happy for me."

Then,the gossip community has collectively decided to name Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie's new baby "Shovel". The name is a contraction of Shilo and Novel...the baby's first two names.

Finally, Actor/Rapper Ice Cube (real name O'Shea Jackson...O'Shea?) just fired his too rowdy bus driver- on his 24 city tour. "A little bit too much Gin & Juice,know what I'm saying" deadpaned the Barbershop thespian. "Then, he was rocking with the crowd," said Ice, realizing a 14 hour drive awaiting his crew that night. Long story shot, I mean short...."We had to 86 (fire) the driver!"

ALL'S FAIR WITH VANITY

Tiny-breasted Domino actress, Keira Knightley admitted that she posed for her sexual Double Dare photo shoot with the gorgeous Scarlett Johansson (from the awful Island) on Vanity Fair's cover, without shaving her legs.
As she was stripping down- she stated, "It's now or never. I'm not completely comfortable with my body, but I thought...F&*k it."

HEATH LEDGER GONE, CROWE... BACK IN?

Director Baz Luhrmann can't find a star, to save his film. His $150 million mega-musical, described as the Austrialian Gone with the wind- was to star the Knight's Tale star, but he passed on it, to star on a higher profile film. The original star Russell Crowe, is still interested in plying the part. Luhrmann is resisting this, because constant script changes, demanded by Crowe "wore thin" with the director. As he scours the U.S., looking for his accented Rhett Butler, X-man & Broadway star, Hugh Jackman's name keeps coming up.

KUNG FU FANS WISH COMES TRUE-JACKIE CHAN & JET LI TO TEAM UP IN A MOVIE!

The Ebert & Roper website confirmed that the Rush Hour Maven Jackie Chan & Lethal Weapon 4 villain Jet Li will star in a martial arts epic. Right now, it is called the J & J plan. This may be Li's last film, as the Oracle's guardian is tiring of the kick-punch genre, is looking to move on to other types of films. The site also said that- a prequel to the Da Vinci Code called Angels & Demons is being prepaired, and names like Michael Mann are being thrown around to replace director Ron Howard.

LINDSEY V. PARIS- NEW "FRIENIMIES."

Lindsey Lohan has stolen Paris Hilton's boy-toy, right out from under her. The Mean Girls star & her new suitor Stavros Niarchos (the guy Paris was flirting with at a Lakers game- when both were booed, by the crowd when seen on big screen at center court,) were appearently screwing five days- before the couple officially broke up.

This may explain why a news-clip, has been circling at youtube.com- of some irate asshole attacking Lohan as "fire-crouch" and Paris giggling in agreement, all the while.

Meanwhile, Paris drowned her sorrows...if she has any...by singing to a Rod Stewart ditty, while dancing on a table top at the Cannes Film Festival.

WHEN HUGH MET CLINT

X-Men: The Last Stand star Hugh "The Boy from Oz" Jackman, was recalling his meeting of the Million Dollar Baby director. He used Eastwood's seminal performance from The Good, the Bad & The Ugly and Dirty Harry to form Wolverine's scarred psyche.

It was at a WB (movie) luncheon, Jackman told a group of French reporters. It was five ago and Eastwood was behind him in line- both ready to order lunch. As Jackman tried to introduce himself by currying favor with Clint by stating "...People have being saying I look a little bit like you." Eastwood just glared at him, like he was an idiot and stated "You're holding up the line, kid."

Jackman revealed that their will be extreme losses on both sides of the X-Men equation and that Wolverine will finally begin his accession- as leader of the team. Like Electra, there WILL be a spin-off focusing on Hugh's alter ego's beginnings, since he learned too much now, by the third chapter's (and most likely X-Men's ) finale.

He will co-produce the film with his Seed productions with 20th Century Fox, even though its the 21st century. The company is not just another tax write off for actors, Jackman revealed that actors should always be "proactive" and not be " a victim sitting by the phone waiting for a call."

An Artist slips from Easy ST. To Hard Way.

Famed watercolors painter Mary Angela, who is known for her works, Shermado, the Bedtime Story and a portrait of a native American woman (who bears a striking resemblance to Jennifer Lopez) has become homeless. Due to personal crisis in her life, she's become trapped in a shelter in Los Angeles. While she waits for her Section 8 funds to clear, she talks about all the great adventures she experienced throughout her life.

She has had her work collected by the likes of tennis superstars Billy Jean King & Chris Evert, Lakers owner Jerry Buss and Famed Musician Duke Ellington, which she spoke with great fondness about their friendship.

Eddie Murphy is Norbit.

While on the set of the Warner Bros film, Norbit...Eddie Murphy is said to be really phoning it in; An unnamed executive visiting the set surmised. He only appeared in close ups and key scenes with the main actors. The executive also feared that Murphy will keep up his trademark stoicism when the time come to promote the film in the media. Also, White Chicks co-star Marlon Wayans will play his character....With the largest Afro ever conceived for movie making.

A Road Tripper's Come Back?

On the set of Tom Green's new movie (working title-Infamous) he was rudely complaining to his costumers about his wardrobe for a driving scene. After that, the man-woman team left his dressing room. The man commented that his wasn't surprised as Green had a bad attitude and "no taste." After that Green's name tag on his trailer fell to the ground.

TO HELL WITH AOL! FREE SPEECH FOREVER!

Those bastards at AOL deleted my pages. I guess Denise Richards has more power in the industry than I thought. HA HA. I'd like to thank those of you who visited my page, when it existed. It is going to take me some time- to reinvent the site. I now have to post all new content, plus learn the ways of the blog. So, please give me some time and Stay Tuned. Later.