Ocean Symphony Starring Jack Black

Provided By:shiftingbaselines
Jack Black stars as the symphony conductor in this hilarious public service announcement about the slow degradation of our oceans. Also starring Madeleine Stowe, Henry Winkler, Tom Arnold, Unforgiven's Saul Rubinek and Dave Foley.

KIDMAN SLAMS JOLIE! SHE CALLS HER CHARITY WORK, A DEFLECT FROM HER ADULTERY.

Academy Award winner & Tomb Raider, Angelina Jolie has made a new enemy, Oscar winner Nicole Kidman who call her work a publicity stunt to deflect personal criticism (the Brangelina scandal) and to elevate her work as “any better than a nurse working in a hospital, but she's getting the publicity for her contribution."

Kidman, has her herself been made a good will ambassador (like Jolie) and is going to India. Jolie has used her role to give monies to developing countries, including donating the cash from the photos of her baby 'shovel'” (with Pitt) to UNICEF.

"I have a friend who is a
doctor and every year he works in Africa for two months for no money,” said The Others actress. She just wants equal public billing for those doing the real work.

Correction: According to E! News, the main source for this story-an Irish Newspaper that claimed the quotes in this tale, now admit they made them up. We here at Data Hard apologize for any harm to anyone reading or attacked by this story, especially Kidman and Jolie. Angie, I'm Sorry.

CELEBRITY HOMOPHOBIA- DAVID SPADE: HOMOPHOBIC ASSHOLE.

Adam Sandler’s little bitch, David Spade was at commercial shoot for IBM computers. This was done with a Hollywood past and present feel-with all the archetypes of all the big stars. The smug comic was doing a silent cameo as a mean, arrogant star being driven around on a golf cart.

However, back stage he was stalking around his tiny cell phone- attacking his cast and crew mates at the Universal Studios stage by stating, "It's pretty gay around here.”



Worse, he would only say this when certain people passed by- so he could cowardly attacks them while making it seem like conversation. Then, as the commercial was winding down- he then said to longtime director Joe Pytka “What about Hershey(TM) over there” by attacking an unidentifiable crew person (he was mistaking for an actor) as which his way of attacking a black person as gay (Her/She {phonetic} )and using the dark chocolate of the product- emphasizing the black angle.)

This was despite the fact that this person was 1) NOT GAY!! 2) He and Spade hadn't spoken to each other that day and 3) DID NOT know each other at all. Plus, Spade was dressed as Vegas-like drug dealer with bad Fu-Man Chu beard.

When the other actors heard Spade speak- they claimed to hear him attacking his friend and meal ticket, Click star Adam Sander based on his bad acting and going after his manhood based on his role in the awful…ly successful remake, The Longest Yard.

This is a terrible display by a public figure with the emotional growth of E from Entourage. Vincent Chase cancelled a potential meeting with Spade ,to cameo in his next movie.

Comedy Central should fire the longtime loser (on that Hollywood program) & replace him with actually funny comics like Arsenio Hall, Sarah Silverman, or Jay Mohr. At the very least these sponsors in particular, should END all ties with his show until massive, multiple APOLOGIES (a la Mel Gibson) are issued to ALL parties with NO comedic tendencies whatsoever.

REDSTONE'S WIFE MAY HAVE LEAD TO THE CRUISE FIRING.

Paula Fortunato, the 40 year old junior to Viacom’s titular Chairman of the board, may have had her husband ear- that lead to break-up, of one of the most profitable relationships in movie history. She told him that Cruiser's “weird” Scientology beliefs: were out of line with the mainstream and may have turned off his strongest fan base-female moviegoers.



While everyone in the Hollywood know, agrees his comments were unprofessional and cold. His wife’s comments may have echoing, what most “normal” people having have been feeing about Cruise for years now. That he has gone off the deep on his faith and turned into a scary control freak in the process.

When she heard his views on women should be working out and taking vitamins to aleavate post-partum depression sealed the coffin on his fate with ladies.

THIS DAILY SHOW REPORTER COULD SAVE CBS $550 MILLION!!

CBS is yet again, trying to appeal the decision over the "wardrobe malfunction" to the FCC. There maybe one way to WIN this case and indecency has nothing to do with it.

According to Lewis Black, host of the "Back in Black" segment on the gonzo news comedy- all CBS has to do is prove that America DIDN'T really see a breast on that fateful Superbowl Sunday.

His CD-Luther Burbank Performing Arts Center Blues, contains his almost scientific theory on the matter. The comic claimed for this so-called indecent act to commence, the nipples must be FULLY exposed to the public. Since Janet WAS wearing those weird S&M nipple clamps, Jackson displayed ONLY full cleavage (which of course) IS NOT against the law. "If you don't have a nipple...You don't have a (breast,)" the fussy comic declared.

He also remarked humorously that he used VCRS and Tivo to break his theory, only to confirm that he NEVER saw a nipple, just those silver tassels that totally hid the goods.


Also, the fact the women and feminists have laid down- like a whore on the matter, is truly amazing. Since they are being told that a women's beauty is worth less than a million dollar touchdown.

It's uncanny for Americans to still be obsessed about this, after all this time. That the American people couldn't handle, a breast of peace during a simulated game of war is absolutely pathtetic "in the land of free."

ELEEN POMPEO’S BITCHINESS CAUSE STRESS AT GREY'S ANATOMY.

The actress is demanding star treatment on what is supposed to be ensemble show. She made demands ranging from: wanting to be interviewed alone, wanting to be carried around the set (like a child) due to a recent sprained ankle, and wanting Desperate Housewives type money ($200K an episode.)

Fans of the monster medical soap may have been tiped off to her dangerous, diva behavior on hidden camera gem, Punked. When the starlet threatened many times-during the segment to outright kill the waitress for playfully flirting with her boyfriend.

The antics of Jordan Grey (named after the color created for Jill Hennessy on Crossing Jordan) are putting the formerly harmonious set on greater edge; after the hit program found out it was doing battle with TV’s # 1 scripted hour CSI: Prime (Las Vegas) & Game show sensation Deal or No Deal.

Her “arrogant attitude is getting on people's nerves,” and these demands are even more outrageous in the fact that Sandra Oh (Arli$$, the acclaimed Sideways) and Patrick Dempsey (Run, Scream 3) are bigger stars and “more accomplished” actors, said show Insiders.

The Executive Producer of this opus, Shonda Rhimes is contemplating eliminating the character and have either Oh or the mother with Alzheimer’s disease take over the voice over hosting of the show and spin the storyline in new directions, the unnamed sources stated.

HUFFMAN OR CROSS MAYBE ON CHERRY'S CHOPPING BLOCK.

TV Guide confirmed that Creator Mark Cherry intended to "kill" one the main leads on Desperate Housewives, by the end of February sweeps. When production started back up about two weeks ago, their trailers were brought down to the main stages. Eva Longoria, Nikki Sheridan, & Teri Hatcher's trailers were normal-with show's logo & names on them, as usual (though Hatcher's character's last name was now misspelled.)

When Cross & Huffman's vehicles were brought, even they were the same ones as last year- the logo/name plate was missing. Their was just a little piece of gaffer's tape with their alter ego's first name only, on it (Lynette & Bree.)

Cherry was made no secret, though the show that he hates his mom, though Cross has arguably given the best and most consistent performance on the show. While Mrs. William H. Macy has been making award winning performances on TV & Film- her role has diminished into a intellectual version of Alexis (on the show) and seen her popularity drop badly, especially after the much maligned second season.

This decision is even sadder, since the housewives were all traveling together (in the same golf cart) in earnest enjoyment of each other's company. This was around dusk (they had night shots to complete) and all were dressed in elegant evening wear, except Nikki who was in a tight top and Daisy Duke type shorts. Sheridan even got off to digitally snap a photo of old set with lake in front of it.

PARTY OF FIVE REUNION: MEAN GIRL CHABERT TO DO HEWITT'S GHOST.

On the season premiere of the Ghost Whisperer, Lacey Chabert (Lost in Space, Dirty Deeds) will guest star, with her Former Fox Friend for a two parter. The two girls look and act so much alike, it was difficult to tell the two apart, on set.
The only real difference was their voice. Chabert’s voice was higher, in a Sarah Michelle Gellar sort of way. She also dressed more plainly (leather jacket and tight jeans.) While on air, J. Love Hewitt dressed in classy dresses, in an Audrey Hepburn type manner.

AMERICA'S GOT BLACK TALENT NOW.

NBC tapped prolific filmmaker Spike Lee (Inside Man) to write, produce, and direct a new pilot for a TV series. The details on the project are sketchy, as if the format would be an emotional, ensemble to his recent hit (his biggest ever) or a white bashing drama- the highly political director is known to champion (Do the Right Thing, Malcolm X.)

MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND KICKS ASS!!

Despite its flaws, a good time will be had this film. Thurman is amazing,yet terrifying as the Jennifer Garner's nerd babe-cum-Felicity, Jenny Johnson and the Supergirlish G-Girl. Luke Wilson succeeds as the ultimate Beta male just trying to figure this "needy, controlling" bitch out. Anna Farris (The Scary Movie franchise) is able to "get some good shots in," as Matt's true love Hannah and Rainn Wilson (The Office, NO relation- that's cooler bro- Owen) steals the show as the sleazy, smart ass best buddy of L. Wilson.

The crowd seemed to have good energy for it and laughed in all the right places. Director Ivan Reitman (Stripes, Ghostbusters 1 & 2) infused it with a good energy and has a really good feel for the majority of jokes, including a shark nearly killing Matt & Hannah after being thrown by jealous G-Girl.

Sadly, where they film falls apart is in the construction of funny premise of Don Payne's script. At the end of the movie, they cheap it out going for a Super catfight between Farris & Thurman- that's going so fast it can't really be appreciated and loses focus of the conflict between G-girl and Matt. True, it raises the stakes to domestic abuse, but didn't Fatal Attraction do this- with the more violent and at times, horror funny conclusion they "voted" for? Plus, in that movie- the good couple got to tag-team their vengeful blond, when she crosses the line. Also, Matt is a nice guy- UNDESERVING of this treatment. He should have made a jerk, to better justify G-Girl's wrath or given powers to payback her back in the climax, and prove to use them in more sane & justifiable way.

In addition, Eddie Izzard's droll Professor "Barry" Bedlam and Wanda Sykes as Wilson's ball-busting boss, dying to nail him for sexual harassment makes the most, of too little screen time.

EMINEM’S HUSTLE & FLOW TOILET BOWL MOMENT.

"I was just minding my own business and taking a leak!," exclaimed MIAD J, a local patron at the Cheetah's strip club, in Detroit’s 8Mile district- when he got into a violent altercation with The Washed actor.

About 1AM, he was in the men’s room using a urinal, when Rabbit entered with his entourage. The two men were standing side-by-side quietly; doing their business when a third men came in and started trying to talk to the rapper.

Em’s guard told the third men to be silent, when Miad J. told them to “ease up” on the star stuck fool- who just wanted to shake the Mockingbird singer’s hand.

The second MARSHALL MATHERS finished and flushed, “He started swinging. I wasn't even expecting it.” After J. was hit four to five times, the bouncers came in tossed out Em's security force and the rapper sneaked out of the club unharmed.

The police were called and they said they would move to file the case against Eminem,at the D.A.'s office. Why? As his crew was leaving an obscure rapper- named Double Trick or Trick! Trick!, aimed a gun at the club-threatening to fire.

LOOK! IT'S ROBOTS IN DISGUISE!! (AN EXCLUSIVE.)

Principle filming started on Transformers this week, based on the wildly popular 80's toys and animated series of the same name. It also, like the Ninja Turtles-is the show that won't die. 

The star- Las Vegas pretty boy Josh Duhamel was present on the set, and acting at times like a loud mouth fool (and embarrassing Jimmy Caan in this reporter's opinion.) Anyway, director Michael Bay (fresh off his failure with Scarlet Johansson on the Island) is truly back in his element of blowing crap up real well. One can hear, the sounds of townspeople running, as the story's villains, the Decepticons with sadist glee, destroy product placement encased buildings.

The lead evil doer, a huge tank leads the opening salvo, by blasting a men's pants store and crushing the same three cars (in two takes,) putting Bay back in the zone.

As the tall, lanky mastermind with graying, brown hair- took a tiny sip of rationed water, then hopped into his black Ford Explorer to do some quick rewriting. He followed that by, power eating some soup in the car. Then, in the next set of explosions littered the New York style cityscape- in dry manure.

TWO TALENTED MEN WITH THEIR HEADS SHOVED COMPLETELY UP THEIR ASSES!

On the premiere of Superman Returns, Sex and the City Creator Darren Star, took his
teen niece and nephew to see the film at the AMC Century City 14 in Los Angeles.

After getting the tickets, the Melrose Place mastermind found four seats together with a reserved sign on scotch tape on them. Despite this, Star pulled the tape of the seats and his group sat down. Then a theater employee told him, that the seats were reserved and a semi loud argument ensued.

It was at that point- the usher revealed the seat were being saved for Matthew Perry (Friends, Studio 60.) The producer responded with a too-bad, so-sad response concluding “Darren Star is sitting in [these] seats because I got here first and this is not a premiere or a screening."

The usher returned “Mr. Perry would like to talk to you.” Also, that armed mall security had been dispatched to the theater.

Perry with three other guests, in his corner- then argued vigorously with Star about the seats. Perry earned his seats back and Star moved post haste. Star later left over anger over the incident and the incessant whining of the children.

AMC declined comment other than to say they have to right to reserve seating for whomever and that Star had no right to do what he did. Perry’s response,” I really enjoyed the movie, although it is slightly implausible that a man can fly.”

From Pg. 6 NY Post.

MEDIABYTES: NEO TO WED & NICOLE KIDMAN GETS HER MAN,BY PRE-NUP.

Kickboxing actors Keanu Reeves and London's Claire Forlani (The Medallion) will get hitched in December this year. The two have been "quietly" dating each other for just over three years. Hollywood prays that the media continues to leave them alone.

In other British news, since they have reclaimed imperialist control through reality TV- Nicole Kidman finally made her union with country singer Keith Urban official in the UK. Urban wins $600,000 of Kidman's $150 million fortune for each year of wedded bliss. However,he is a chronic abuser of alcohol and drugs. If he should take up either habit again, "he leaves with nothing."

Bender & Al Gore, together again, for the first time.

Futurama just got picked-up for 13 new shows on Comedy Central, and this maybe the reason it happened.

Note: Sorry, for the delay-it was cumbersome to get Youtube and Blogger data to fuse,like it should have.

AN AWFUL LUCAS BLACK ALMOST RUINS THE TOKYO DRIFT( A CINEMA TREATISE.)

The move to Tokyo definitely revives that cool factor & provide the culture clash problems experienced by the leads, particularly Nick Cannon's Twinkie, I Mean Bob Wow...It's time for one of you to lose the braids. First, it's generic. Two, how is the crowd supposed to tell you two apart? Also, Nathalie Kelley give a decent debut. She seems to almost, perfectly epitomizes the soul- trapped between dueling worlds. Also, you'll be playing Guess Her Ethnicity to anytime she's on camera.

Here's RD.1:
OK. Her name is Neela which Indian- cause I watch ER and that chick from Bend It... is named Neela. But, up close- she clearly looks Latina, but at a distance she's waifish but, athletically tiny- like a Japanese girl. Still, she talks with a British accent. Finally, she has the biggest, unending pairs of knee-high whore boots, I've seen in a year. I, I'm gonna say Australian, Wink!!

Wink Martindale (Debt): Correct! You win $10,000!! DING-DING!! Anyway...

Stealing the show, is Brain Tee- as the darkly cool villain and Sung Kane, as the hero- who gives the idiot, white boy at shot at drifting. Remove Black's lunkhead and these two exude a true fight of good and evil. Have the studios learned nothing from the Rush Hour movies?

Black's portrayal is so annoying and weak- it is beyond description. His SAG card should be revoked- if that's the best he can do. His lame half-arsed acting (and crappy accent) is so horrible, that I thought I was Larid Hamilton on NBC's Treasure Hunters.

Plus, Kelley's role is a little cold & distant at times,like I'm watching humanized B'Elanna Torres from Star Trek: Voyager. Except, she lacks both the heart, and depth of that seminal Sci-fi character. Also, Wow's Twinkie never gets enough scene time. Still, the racing is cool as ever and the drifting allows for the film's message of, finesse to win over the sheer power (and nitro.)

I can already see the next set of prime-time reality shows stealing the opening when black suited Tee points to his two Asian cowgirls to say "On your mark, Get set" while he suavely tells his contestants to boldly "Go!"

Also, watch a truly cool cameo by America's favorite action asshole (before The Rock sadly) and original Furious star Vin Disel, at the movie's climax.

BRITANY DENIES FOLLOWING IN BRANGELINA'S FOOTSTEPS FOR NAMIBIAN BIRTH.

Poor Britany Spears has denied these reports. Despite hearing about the smooth and surprisingly private birth, they were able to share among the African people. For the cost of a moderate grand prize on Deal or No Deal, she would have power to grant or deny (through the government) reporters and photogs into the country, plus how close they can come within her presence.

However, Namibian Tourism Head, Leon Jooste claimed that arrangements were made for visas for the entire K-Fed family to visit (including the apparently, abused baby Sean Preston and her whigger husband/wanna-be rapper Kevin Federline.)

SUIT UP! DOGGIE TAKES HIS COMEBACK TO A CINEAPLEX, STAT!!

At the Tony Awards, Comeback kid Neil Patrick Harris (How I met Your Mother) confirmed that he is in negotiations to star in a adult,big screen version of his hit show, Doggie Howser M.D. for Fox 2000 films. It will be "very steamy and R rated" and have a "Marcus Welby meets The Young Interns" feel, claimed Harris. If it hits, he thinks this could vault him into the $20 million club, or close to it, anyway.

EXPOSE: The Real Reason- GSN's Lingo- went off the air,for almost two years!

There was a power struggle between then-new co-host (Sexy, but plastic Stacy Hayes) and famed U.S. game show host Chuck Woolery (Scrabble, Love Connection.) After the British bombshell arrived, she quickly and shamelessly took over most of Chuck's on-air duties, as "judge" on the show. This left almost nothing for the popular taskmaster to do, but read off the scores. Plus, their off camera interactions were said to be non-existent or icy at best.

At that point- Chuck threatened to quit, unless of his duties were returned to him and Stacy's role was diminished. Since GSN (Game Show Network) loves Woolery's work, as they run all his old shows and they get a fairy decent number-sided with him and forced all his demands on the show's producer Phil Gurin (Weakest Link.) The gap, in between season 3 and 4 was to allow time for Staci's contract to expire. With Hayes officially fired, Chuck allowed for "Bygones" and happily signed up for more seasons as Lingo's MC.

It is even said that Chuck helped to, hand pick his popular new co-host Shandi Finnessey (a highly, likeable, giggling fan girl with an odd crush on Chuck.) Lingo remains GSN's highest rated and long running show in the network's history.

Still, Stacy may not done with the word game yet. Rumors are starting to persist, that Hayes may host- an all new version of Lingo in the U.K., produced by Gurin. The UK show's first season may use, the current American set and film after the U.S. version completes its fifth season, of its wildly successful new jackpot format.

MEGA STORY 1- I HELP GET JACKMAN WORK, ALANIS WILL LEARN, PITT NEWS & CUBE TAKES......RESPONSIBILITY 4 HIS ACTIONS


This is a fast moving news day, so today's update will encompass many subjects.

Hugh Jackman has officially snatched away the part Russell Crowe wanted in Baz Luhrmann's next movie musical. He will play a "rough hewn cattle drover," that will star opposite Nicole Kidman. She will be a "English aristocrat" who will inherit cattle land the size of Belgium,at the beginning of WWII. Jackman will be a "dark rival" for the land (similar to Michael Douglas in Romancing the Stone..Is he lover or foe?) He beat out Heath Ledger for the role, who will do a film called Dirt Music, directed by Phillip Noyce of Patriot Games. The 'Rouge director is clamming there is still a supporting role for Ledger..Whatever the hell that means.

Next, Soul-singer Alanis Morissette and party-guy actor Ryan Reynolds have called it quits. The formerly engaged couple met a party hosted by- Drew Barrymore, back in 2002. The one time God claimed- he was a "supportive creature" and felt "loved by him, in a trampoline sort of way." The writing of their failed romance may have been on the wall, she said "We already felt like we were married." The entertainingly, arrogant Blade: Trinity star couldn't be reached for comment,but must be snickering at Alani's final comment (from her interview with People.com)..."He's always very happy for me."

Then,the gossip community has collectively decided to name Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie's new baby "Shovel". The name is a contraction of Shilo and Novel...the baby's first two names.

Finally, Actor/Rapper Ice Cube (real name O'Shea Jackson...O'Shea?) just fired his too rowdy bus driver- on his 24 city tour. "A little bit too much Gin & Juice,know what I'm saying" deadpaned the Barbershop thespian. "Then, he was rocking with the crowd," said Ice, realizing a 14 hour drive awaiting his crew that night. Long story shot, I mean short...."We had to 86 (fire) the driver!"