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Showing posts with label VIN DIESEL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label VIN DIESEL. Show all posts

Monday, April 25, 2011

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

AN AWFUL LUCAS BLACK ALMOST RUINS THE TOKYO DRIFT( A CINEMA TREATISE.)



The move to Tokyo definitely revives that cool factor & provide the culture clash problems experienced by the leads, particularly Nick Cannon's Twinkie, I Mean Bob Wow...It's time for one of you to lose the braids. First, it's generic. Two, how is the crowd supposed to tell you two apart? Also, Nathalie Kelley give a decent debut. She seems to almost, perfectly epitomizes the soul- trapped between dueling worlds. Also, you'll be playing Guess Her Ethnicity to anytime she's on camera.

Here's RD.1:
OK. Her name is Neela which Indian- cause I watch ER and that chick from Bend It... is named Neela. But, up close- she clearly looks Latina, but at a distance she's waifish but, athletically tiny- like a Japanese girl. Still, she talks with a British accent. Finally, she has the biggest, unending pairs of knee-high whore boots, I've seen in a year. I, I'm gonna say Australian, Wink!!

Wink Martindale (Debt): Correct! You win $10,000!! DING-DING!! Anyway...

Stealing the show, is Brain Tee- as the darkly cool villain and Sung Kane, as the hero- who gives the idiot, white boy at shot at drifting. Remove Black's lunkhead and these two exude a true fight of good and evil. Have the studios learned nothing from the Rush Hour movies?

Black's portrayal is so annoying and weak- it is beyond description. His SAG card should be revoked- if that's the best he can do. His lame half-arsed acting (and crappy accent) is so horrible, that I thought I was Larid Hamilton on NBC's Treasure Hunters.

Plus, Kelley's role is a little cold & distant at times,like I'm watching humanized B'Elanna Torres from Star Trek: Voyager. Except, she lacks both the heart, and depth of that seminal Sci-fi character. Also, Wow's Twinkie never gets enough scene time. Still, the racing is cool as ever and the drifting allows for the film's message of, finesse to win over the sheer power (and nitro.)

I can already see the next set of prime-time reality shows stealing the opening when black suited Tee points to his two Asian cowgirls to say "On your mark, Get set" while he suavely tells his contestants to boldly "Go!"

Also, watch a truly cool cameo by America's favorite action asshole (before The Rock sadly) and original Furious star Vin Disel, at the movie's climax.

Later.