BEN AFFLCEK ON J. LO- STILL HAS A "NICE" ASS.

A LITTLE MITCH, ESCORTED TO HIS SHORT SCHOOL BUS.

REAL NEWS: SARAH PALIN'S HUSBAND CHEATED ON HER SLUTTY, CRAZY ASS.

BEST FRIEND IN MR. HOLLAND'S OPUS THANKS SECURITY GUARD.
(Exclusive.)

A Latino, McRoberts security guard- at the Oscars (known only as Frank,) ended up helping the wife of actor and current day manager of the Kodak theatre, Jay Thomas.

The night of the big event, the woman's wife was dress impeccably. She got lost and needed to use the bathroom. The guard quickly, told her where to go and how to get back to the proceedings.

At the end of the event, Thomas and his wife walked back by- the metal detector where "Frank" was working. Thomas announced himself to the guard and, re-thanked him for helping his wife.

Weirdly, just an hour prior to this, a white male, Vegas lounge singer type- was thrown out by the cops. As he passed by a male, African American guard said, something about not being thrown out because of drugs.

AMY WINEWOUSE'S HUSBAND OFF TO THE GREY BAR MARRIOT, FOR OVER 2 YEARS.

THE DIRTY GIRL TREATS HER HUSBAND BADLY,WHILE SHOPPING FOR NEW BABY.