Thursday, July 05, 2007
BRUCE WILLIS & MAGGIE Q GIVE NATION GOOD REASON TO LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD.
1st Contact: Admiral
Final Rank: Captain
This is easily the best of the die hard sequels, as the story is not highly relevant and likely,but the fact the domestic terrorists (the Tim Mc Veys of the world) would do this is heartbeat and skip out the country with our hard earned 401K dollars.
I just wish that Scream 2 co-killer Tim (weird pattern developing) Olyphant did the role with his usual slickly cool swagger. Instead of the lamely,uninspiring way to do his(especially to cause this level of mayhem)geek patriot-Tom Gabriel driven to destroy the nation, in order to possible save it and net him and his girlfriend over $100 billion. Plus, his grey hair at 39 feels too much of Tom Cruise in Collateral.
Maggie Q reminds me of an obscure proverb about being soft as the rain,but painfully hard as a flood. This is why her performance so overshadowed that of her boyfriend and perhaps she should have been the lead bad guy. Once John McClaine "shoves a SUV up her ass" the bad guys lose personality and competence altogether.
Her beauty and fighting comes off as an Asian Jennifer Garner on the wrong side of the battle, and has a weird anti-chemistry with Willis. The sleazy, vicious nature of their underground prize fight- where both combatants are getting off on the sexualized violence (Particularly Bruce's McClaine!-This got a PG-13 rating!?)After losing the first round of kickboxing with her, he gets a sadistic Ike Turner look in eyes and pulverized the dangerously calm, but determined fighting beauty.
Then he picks her up like a wrestler and bloody rips out her hair-body slamming her against a metal bookcase, and then laughs about likes its funny. After she recovers, he learns to never over ugly up a girl in a fistfight and gets kicked through plate glass window almost to his death two and 1/2 stories down. That's when John finds that SUV and runs down Mai (Q) & drives them both through more glass into the elevator shaft where their painful dating ritual continues,with someone about to fall to their death.
After they trade more blows, he finally KOs Mai and climbs out the truck, in time to see her drop to her crushing, fiery death and then laughs heartily that he killed a girl, albeit a tough one. Then, Willis goes into Sarah Silverman territory stopping just shorting of making racial epitaphs while playing up the fact she's a "Asian hooker bitch" and admitting to Gabriel (Tim O) his "ninja chick" was defiantly the best of "1-800 Henchman" service.
The films other action set pieces are quite good, but nothing too original. Still, the centerpiece of the action, which keeps this old-school is what will John say after he gorily dispatches another bad guy (The best "I'll send a doctor for ya" and just walks away as the Euro trash dies ten seconds later.)He does have decent interplay which his charge, the uber-geek, tech genius played by Justin Long (Dodge ball & PC V. Mac ads.)
The film can't help but lapse into utter insanity- because once the actions starts the plot holes get larger- without somehow destroying the credibility built up- in the movie. A chase down a tunnel where Gabriel has sent cars in both directions, leading to crash a cop car into a killer helicopter was ballsy genius.
The thing is almost destroys the enjoyment level is the fact that- John MC. this time...is quite creepy this time around. As stated, the REAL climax (Q. V. Willis)is exhilarating to watch, but is quite creepy considering the rating given. You feel John is working out what he really like to do to Holly for leaving him (they divorced six years ago.) Plus, one can practically sense his orgasmic fever during his face-off with Mai Lin (Also, that fact that Mai refuses to talk to him during the battle while he taunts her constantly {Muhammad Ali style}-relates to the state of mind of the charaters quite well.) If the film was better written it could have ended there.If there is a fifth one, it would cool and ironic if they gave John his fantasy-a hot martial artist woman that can be his sidekick in the final chapter. Someone call Kelly Hu or Lucy Lui!
McClaine doesn't help himself by stalking his daughter at college campus early on, when its apparent she quite sexually active and can take care of herself. It gives the iconic, reluctant hero a Chris Benoit(murder-suicide) vibe that takes away from his rooting factor at key moments.
Still if you can get past that, the lapse in logic and many asides to recent action films in past 15 years or so, with True Lies racing to the forefront a lot in this. It's perfect popcorn movie for this summer, if you're adult.
Director Len Wiseman (the Underworld series)seems very professional and dedicated during the battles, but gave Hard too much of vanilla presence when there's no action on the screen.
Finally, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Kevin Smith make the most of parts without as being annoying as they could have been. One thing- at one point in the main climax Lucy McClain disarms the bad guys gun the same way Mai took apart John's gun. Did they go to the same advance, self-defense course for babes?
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
DON'T FORGET THE LYRICS MC SINGS THE TUNE OF DIVORCE.
Wayne Brady is filing against, his one-time better half- Mandie last Friday. They've been unionized for seven years, & share a four year old daughter called Malie, which in Hawaiian symbolizes the leaf found in most flower leis, departing the plane at the airports.
Both have requested to pay their own legal bills, but for the sake of tradition- the wife is asking for spousal support from the signing game show host's coffers.Brady's new prime-time, reality game commences July 11Th at 9:30PM ET/8:30 Central.
Monday, June 25, 2007
CANDICE OF HEROES LEAVES SHOW TO HELP REAPER ON CW NET.
Missy Peregrym's alter ego-who was killed at the end of a brutal fistfight with "Jessica"(Ali Larter) by taking an ultra punch to the bridge of her nose (crushing her brain instantly) will be rewarded- with a new life on the dark upstart rip-off of Ghost Rider (hopefully without the cheesiness this time.)
She replaced thespian Nikki Reed from the pilot and will portray the love stuck sidekick of "Satan's bounty hunter" (Bret Harrison.) Twin Peaks alum Ray Wise is the prince of darkness for this show.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
ADAM SESLER'S STRAIGHT-NESS IS A...FIVE OUT OF 5!!
STOP,EXCLUSIVE TIME!
The male half of the faux-evil, sarcastic duo on G4TV's top rated comedy/game review series, was caught on date with a woman. Homophobic, Tom Cruise like charges from have plagued the popular X-Play host for some time now (by Adam's own mentioning ON THE SHOW FOR YEARS- Including the show's own message boards occasionally.)
The Sess took his docile, Asian princess (apparently named Amber)- to a showing of the cult hit, art house film, Black Sheep at a Santa Monica,CA movie theatre-near the beach. He shared popcorn with his date and bought them each a large Fuji water and payed almost $15 on his credit card.
As usual, the host had to reassure fans that in fact "{Morgan Webb} was a gamer" but added she's "great to work with." Then, the TV star disappeared into the theatre with his lady love. When the theatre's manager witnessed this, he stated with lame bitterness, "You know the film will be a hit, when some(obscure) cable TV host shows up."
Friday, June 22, 2007
EDDIE MURPHY IS SCARY SPICE'S BABY'S DADDY AFTER ALL.
The Oscar nominated comic submitted to blood test in Early June and the results have come back...positive. Sherman Klump and Scary Spice (Melanie Brown) dated for six months and then mysteriously broke up. Then, when Alex Foley went on a dutch talk show, the host congratulated Murphy on his new baby with her and Norbit went berserk.
Since the results are in, Brown expects an apology and for Murphy to own up to his responsibilities. She stated that "this isn't about the money, it's about Angel (A.Iris Murphy Brown) knowing for sure who her dad is." It's been inferred that Scary is worth $10 million on her own, but Eddie was the billionaire box office king of the '80s- is looking to protect his vast mega million dollar portfolio.
Monday, June 18, 2007
WILL SUPERGIRL HELP FINALLY GROW CLARK UP TO SUPERMAN STATUS ON SMALLVILLE.
Cousin Kara will be used to fill in info gaps in the computerized Jor-El (co-programmed by General Zod!) that has plague the show harshly since season 2. She will be able to fly and have full powers (she'll do things Clark hasn't done yet.)
Apparently, she was sent to Earth about the same time Kent(Tom Welling)was. However, she was trapped in space and in suspended animation for 16 years. Also, her presence may finally lead Clark accepting his destiny as Superman and helping defeat his Bizarro version.
If her character is popular...a spin-off will launch next fall.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
PARIS HILTON'S 1ST SUNDAY VISITORS BEHIND BARS- MAY HAVE JUMPED THE LINE, FROM OTHER NORMAL VISITING FAMILIES.
Paris Hilton's sister Nicky and former lover Stavros Niarchos may have "cut" in line to see the hysterical heiresses/party girl. She's housed at the mental ward at Twin Towers jail after her spectacularly, embarrassing, rearrest on federal TV on Friday.
Steve Whitmore, the L.A. County Sheriff spokesman denied the two won more special treatment. They came despite a crush of photographers, "filled out visitation forms, and spent a half-hour upstairs before leaving without talking to reporters." She could leave prison in 15 days assuming Paris claims "good behavior" within the ward's confines.
"We don't care about no Paris Hilton!," exclaimed an unknown mother. "We're here for our families." Another visitor & relative to this person followed with, "Why did they get to go up first, that's what I want to know?"
Nicky Hilton, Niarchos, Hilton's paramour Dave Katzenberg are the first to see the reality star who will have to finish her currently 23 night stint in the grey bar hotel, for destroying her probation agreement with her alcohol infused driving case & using a suspended license to drive.
Rumors persist that the Hilton's mom plan to take to task L.A. prosecutor Rocky Del Gado, as well as the Republican Superior Court Judge Michael Sauer buy suing the hell out of the city for selective prosecution for overly targeting celebs in this cases.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
ISAIAH WASHINGTON IS FLAMINGLY FIRED FROM GREY'S ANATOMY.
The Associated Press confirmed that the African-Amercian actor has been let go. This is due to his gay tirades at the beginning of the season that led to: cast mate T.R. Knight outing himself pre-maturely on Ellen, a donnybrook with Co-star Patrick Dempsey, and the awkward dealings with his most vocal critic- Knocked Up star Kathrine Hiegel (who's hit film finally gave her leverage in still on-going contract dispute.)
"I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore," Washington stated, quoting the famed media satire Network when ABC TV said that his contract option "was not renewed for next season."
He tried more acts than Don Imus to end the dispute: including therapy, meeting with Gay & ####### Alliance Against Defamation and other gay groups to apologize and those meetings birthed a PSA about words having power.
For now, the recovering bigot is "continuing his charity work in
Sierra Leone, which a DNA test showed to be his ancestral home, and work on
an independent movie."
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
LIV TYLER CONFIRMS HER DAD, STEVEN LEAVING AEROSMITH IS B.S.!!
A reporter asked if Tyler is cutting a solo album and he said yes. Naturally, this spread like wildfire and became Tyler leaving the greatest rock band in history (screw KISS!)
Plus, "a spy" insinuated that "they don't appreciate him." She also said "{He} is going to announce he's leaving Aerosmith soon because he can't take how the rest of the band is treating him."
Inside sources said, Tyler would never leave the musical unit,as it is even more his baby than his gorgeous, Hobbit fighting, daughter.The P.R. rep for Liv (filming the new Hulk origin movie with Ed Norton) stated, "Liv never said anything about her father leaving Aerosmith."
Friday, May 25, 2007
LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD MUSIC VIDEO!!
It tells the ballad of the entire quartet of films, with exclusive footage from 4. This includes John McClane driving a mack truck, while playing chicken with a jet fighter and a battle of the sexes fisticuffs match- between Bruce Willis and MI: 3 star Maggie Q (lead Henchwoman)!! Sorry, "still No Allen" (Hard 1's & Family Matters' lead Reggie Vel Johnson.)
It tells the ballad of the entire quartet of films, with exclusive footage from 4. This includes John McClane driving a mack truck, while playing chicken with a jet fighter and a battle of the sexes fisticuffs match- between Bruce Willis and MI: 3 star Maggie Q (lead Henchwoman)!! Sorry, "still No Allen" (Hard 1's & Family Matters' lead Reggie Vel Johnson.)
Thursday, May 17, 2007
LINDSAY LOHAN'S NEW PLAYER BOYFRIEND: CHEATS ON HER AT CLUB & GETS DUMPED BY HER, IN A CROWED LOBBY.
This is what happens when you date Euro-trash. Lohan publicly dumped British guy, Calum Best in loud spat at a hotel in New York. When she found a horde on female phone numbers on his person, began to rip his clothes apart while screaming obscenities.
Earlier, at a nightclub called Cipriani, the Brit bastard macked every girl in sight- when she left their table. Apparently, Lohan had been looking the other way with his cheating for awhile and he'd taken advantage of that the prior evening.
According to a rival website, Best called from his room- for the mini-bar to be restocked while he's half-naked with some unknown slut at 4AM. When room service arrived, he payed & tipped them with a stack of cash on his nightstand (like a mistress) claiming "It’s Lindsay’s money. I don’t care.”
Monday, May 14, 2007
SNOOP DOG INVESTIGATED BY MONK ON HIS FAMED CRIME DRAMEDY.
The modest rapper will play: a Suge Knight style, music kingpin called "Murderuss." His character might or might not have been killed in car bomb planted in a jet black limo.
The moment, captured on the Universal back lot- only got one take from multiple angles to get the explosion right. Everyone was given tiny ear plugs, when it went off and after the scene the crew applauded.
Then- about an hour later, the crew realized they had some explosives left and restaged the scene and blew up the charred limo again.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
MILO TAKES ONE IN THE BRAIN- 4 NADIA AND HOPES OF STARRING IN NEW COP PILOT.
Annoying Tech geek Milo of 24, finally acted heroically and satisfied those annoyed by his presence- by dying a heroic death when CTU was raided by communist terrorists on the time's up thriller.
Actor Eric Balfour claims he asked to leave early- to finish a cop pilot that maybe picked up by CBS. Also, since 24's ratings are down significantly this season, due to repetitive story lines and odd story developments, So....
"Jack's going out in the field and they're moving locations. It's time for a new look and a change of scenery. That's another reason I thought Milo needed to get out of there."
Plus, the actor felt constrained by his A-holish nerd, & being sexually being double crossed in an emotional threesome by Chloe And Morris. "It didn't give me much room to show my colors," said Balfour.
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Friday, May 04, 2007
GIRLFIGHT'S MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ FIGHTS TO REMAIN STRAIGHT IN HOLLYWOOD
-Despite confirming gay relationship with Painkiller Jane's Kristina Loken, declares "I like men...REAL MEN anyway."
"I guess Curve magazine took it upon themselves, to out me on the premise of their own suspicions. " wrote the Fast/Furious star on her website finally responding to Loken's charges of hiding her sexually proclivaties in the Advocate's November '06 issue.
Apparently, her appearing on the cover of Curve magazine confirmed- to most across the Internet- that the Star was officially coming out of closet (T.R. Knight style.) After she realized- she was being pressed by her muscular lover, to do so. Loken proudly claims her bisexually, yet in the Advocate article did confirm any recent relationships with men.
"If I wanted people to know what I do with my vagina I would have released a sex video a long time ago. Yet I haven't done that," the video-game voice over queen remarked. She rightly deduces that "her sexuality is nobody's business" and wishes people would get off her ass about it. She should be allowed to get on with her life.
Rodriguez typed:
"Whatever, I'm not insulted, I have a big (gay) following, and for
whatever reasons they show me love. I'm never going to shun, disrespect or
neglect anybody who shows me genuine... love."
The BloodRayne co-star made it clear, about her anger about this charge-
"I will say this: To put words in some one's mouth and place people in categories affects them for sure, especially in this business. I don't know what the intent
behind the Curve magazine cover was. I wasn't informed of it."
The gay label could deal a destructive impact in her life and work. "There are certain things that can close doors between a celebrity and certain audiences... If I were Ellen [DeGeneres] I may get away with the 'I'm gay' level of exposure, but I'm not a comedian,....and I've only been in this business for seven years, not 20."
Note: Article was edited by Blogger- after the fact without warning. The L Word, scares them or the advertisers.
KATE BECKINSALE &
CHARLIZE THERON MAY STAR TOGETHER IN KILL BILL TYPE MOVIE.
The film, MOMENTUM!- has been mired in production hell since last year. Beckinsale will be "Rayven Graves...a psychotic ex girlfriend who is hell bent on domination and Charlize Theron is Katherine McNeil...a domesticated housewife who fights for her life when her husband is on the run from the law and trying to cross the country."
The main story is so huge (3+ hour running time) that like the Uma Thurman classic, the film fractured into two parts (instant sequel.) The Alpha story starts in Canada (not just filming it there and calling it the USA) and the Omega chapter finishes in Mexico.
Also, like the violent Tarrintino masterpiece- the tone shifts in the films. Part One: "The Thunder Rolls is" an "action/drama," while the finale ("Storm Front) is action/horror."
Sources claim the script is "very well done, but have" NOT seen "the shooting script," yet. They describe the flick as "a mix of Nick of Time, Speed, Trapped and True Romance..."(part 1 only.) The last chapter is still being revised.
Kate's interest seems serious, but is NOT locked yet. Meanwhile: Gina Gershon, Dina Meyer, Lara Flynn Boyle and even Drew Barrymore have joined the fight to steal the leads in the modern Themla & Louise retelling- from Beckinsale and the Oscar winner.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
"THE GOOD, THE BAD, & THE DOMINATRIX," EX-O.C.-ER MELINDA CLARKE RETURNS TO CSI.
The CSI: Vegas team will investigate another death linked, to the classiest S&M madam in the Nevada. Grissom (Will Petersen) and Co. will be tracking down clues at a Wild West theme park where Lady Heather (Clarke) is now working.
This is after she nearly whipped to death, the prime suspect in the murder of one of her loved ones. The crew kept a tight lid on the story-only confirming that the neck hanging attack on her-may expose Sara (Jorja Fox) and Gil's relationship and will affect it in a unique way.
On the day of the shoot, Clarke was dressed in a cheesy, "hoe"-down dress, and seemed slickly cool as ice. Big Cheese Will Petersen even had remark directed at our reporter,"When you're done, I gotta job for you. You can shovel horse$*&^ behind George Eads (Nick Stokes.)" The journalist then mumbled back, "Who's George Eads?"
Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
POSH SPICE'S BITCHINESS- THREAT TO DERAILING NEW PRIME TIME SHOW.
"She waltzes around with her icy attitude." told a key staffer on the new NBC show on her husband's trip to save U.S. big league soccer. "We think she's full of herself and not very nice. She's very picky, demanding and rude."
She frequently ignores all staff and is prone to child-like temper tantrums over minor incidents. "The show is designed to make her a star in the States, but she's dreaming if she thinks that's going to happen," stated the upper-management crew man.
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