BELLA HATES HOLLYWOOD, AND FINDS FEELING IS MUTUAL IN EXEC OFFICES.

CELEBRITY Q AND A: JENNIFER GARNER.

In 2003, I was an extra in National Treasure, during the Smithsonian scene where Nick Cage- sets up the plan to steal the Declaration of Independence. During lunch, I snuck over to the TV show-Alias ,at their main office over at Disney, to do some snooping.

As I was over hearing plot devices- near the writer's room, that's when I Spy Jennifer Garner. For some reason, She looked like, she was walking in slow motion. Dressed in contemporary casual, lady ninja gear-all in black. She's wearing tight black jeans and boots with a matching sweater. Her striking, brown hair flowing in the wind. I thought I heard- 50 Cent's "In the Club" playing, as she walked.

After my self-induced hallucination of her, I notice she was talking with her co-star Victor Garber (her on-air dad Jack Bristow.) Garber dressed in a big grey trench-coat. He is so tall, I can only see the  trench-coat. He comes off, like Al in the Naked Gun movies- a torso with no head, taking from above my line of sight.

Then, Sydney turns her elevated head toward me. I quickly realized I was caught and started to leave. She looked startled,but had a polite smile. She stated, "You can't go in there....that's the writer's room."

I sheepishly look back over my shoulder, grin and shrug. Confused, I keep moving forward. As I walk away,I hear Garner disappointed about "how rude," I was. I didn't even say hello, ask for autograph or something.

I'm watching their reflection in a mirror,as I walk.  I can still see Garner and Garber's coated upper frame. Garber surmised that,  I didn't speak to them out of nervousness and the fact that "he ALMOST recognized us."

Note: As a joke or playful Revenge,Garner quickly sent co-star David Anders (Turncoat agent Julian Sark) to stalk me, back over to my set. He kept following me and reaching under his coat-like he'll pull a gun and try to shot me. I doubled back behind a trailer and lost him. I got back to my set,without getting caught by that staff. I could have totally been on this show, talking.

 

CELEBRITY Q AND A: PARIS HILTON AND QUENTIN TARENTINO.

In 2007, The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters was opening at the Nuart Theatres. The owner of the place, was the film geek on Beat the Geeks. Anyway, after playing a live arcade version of Donkey Kong in the lobby, I went to find a seat inside.

Unfortunately, the place was packed, and I couldn't find anywhere to sit. I was towards the back the audience and thinking of leaving. That's when the godmother of celebrity reality TV: Paris Hilton stood up in a red cocktail dress. She noticed my disappointment and said, "It's O.K., you can have my seat." I was shocked by her generosity, considering her reputation.

I said, dressed in a dark blue suit, "Really....(she nodded and smiled)....Thanks." She got up and made her date leave with her. They calmly left the theatre.

The film itself was pretty good. Imagine a episode of Hercules: Legendary Journeys- with a Kevin Sorbo looking Chemistry teacher (married to a tall Gabrielle, Xena's gal-pal) on his quest to break a old school video game record. It's held by an Ares type (New Zealand's Kevin Smith)-A Hot Sauce baron (married to a Xena type, the size of Gabrielle!) A Joxer looking guy is his flunkie, who submitted a faked video, in order to take back the record. The film became, the one vs. the corrupt world style film, to succeed in an "It IS who you know" type world.

After the film, I went a played a few more games and then went outside. I walked a couple of feet and I didn't realize- I accidentally brushed past the Inglorious Bastard himself. He said "Why don't watch where you're going, you fat f-----!" I turned around shocked at the lies, from the more arrogant, fatter fuck. Also, he's hardly more manly- considering the sadistic, bloody, beating he took from Jennifer Garner, on her old TV show Alias.

Then, he just snickers- like a villain,dressed as Johnny Cash. He proclaimed, "What are you gonna do?" and moved his hand toward me. Pissed off, I got lucky and quickly punched him- deep in his far bigger stomach. He catches his gut and I run like hell. I quickly jumped into a taxi and headed home. I'm quite proud that, I decked a talented, scumbag liar asshole,like Jimmy. Plus, the statute of limitations are expired, so legally I'm safe.

Note: I ran into Hilton- a year later after this incident, at the Hollywood-Highland Plaza. She was hosting an event on the fourth level, at a night club.She was very nice and we just briefly shot the breeze,while she was flanked by friends. I said good-bye and she stated it was nice, seeing me again.

WATCH BETWEEN TWO FERNS ON YOUR PHONE.

Funny Or Die, the top destination for comedy on the web and mobile, today launched a free news app for iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch. Funny Or Die News Flash, featuring today's top headlines laced with humor, can be downloaded here.


Funny Or Die News Flash curates the day's top stories so they're quick and easy to digest. Each story includes a headline accompanied by a looping video and a joke that satirizes the story. Quickly skim through topics and click through to full news articles. Consuming the news is now fast, fun, and sharable. The Funny Or Die News team, creators of Funny Or Die's popular topical videos and comedic commentary of real news and current events, will be overseeing all content for Funny Or Die News Flash.

"It seems like every reputable news outlet has a dedicated app. And now a non-reputable news outlet does, too," says Dan Abramson, Editor-in-Chief of Funny Or Die News.
A sampling of today's headlines include: "A recent survey found that 40% of Republicans don't believe in global warming. Ironically their rhetoric accounts for the majority of the world's hot air."  "Six Kansas school districts are ending the school year early because of budget cuts. Actually eight are closing, but the person who counted went to school in Kansas."

Funny Or Die News Flash is the second app Funny Or Die launched this year. Funny Or Die Weather launched in January 2015 and is available on both iOS and Android

A JAY Z AND BEYONCE JOINT.

THE OLSEN TWINS TO RETURN, FOR THE TOUGH MUDDER/REUNION PILOT ON FULLER HOUSE.

THE WESTS GO, AROUND AMY SCHUMER.

MILEY CYRUS AND PATRICK SCHWARZENEGGER: TERMINATED!

DID JESSICA BIEL, NAME THE BABY AFTER ME?

ESPN BABE TAKEN OFF AIR,FOR BITCHING OUT.

THE ARROW TO BE CASEY JONES IN NINJA TURTLES.

MADONNA MAY HAVE BIT DRAKE ON PURPOSE, DURING IMPROV KISS.

THE MAN WITH THE IRON FISTS 2- RELEASED ON DVD AND CD TODAY.

 Back Lot Music has released the soundtrack for THE MAN WITH THE IRON FISTS 2, Universal Pictures Home Entertainment's action-adventure film starring RZA.  The album features 23 new score cues by RZA & Howard Drossin as well as 4 songs featured in the film.  THE MAN WITH THE IRON FISTS 2 releases today – day and date with the soundtrack album – on Blu-Ray™, DVD and Digital HD.

Drossin and RZA's acclaimed scores to The Man with the Iron Fists and its sequel are mash-ups from the start. They incorporate Hip-Hop, Stax and Asian instrumentation, with a 70's sensibility that pays homage to many of the scores from that era which they both admire, including old Kung Fu films and the Shaw Brothers' films.
Drossin has been scoring films since the late 1990's. He has collaborated with Terence Blanchard for over 10 years, orchestrating film scores like Inside Man, 25th Hour, Red Tails, Black or White and his Grammy-Award-Winning A Tale of God's Will. Drossin continued that collaboration on "Champion," an 'opera in jazz' commissioned by the St. Louis Opera.
RZA is a Grammy® award-winning music producer & recording artist, BAFTA nominated film composer, actor and director. He's one of the most prominent figures in hip-hop music and the creator/producer of the Wu-Tang Clan. He has an extremely distinguished body of work in music scoring for filmmakers such as Ridley Scott, Jim Jarmusch and Quentin Tarantino. He recently scored the Emmy nominated American adaptation of the Japanese anime "Afro Samurai", executive produced and starring Samuel L. Jackson. Most recently, RZA won a Grammy for producing songs for Kanye West's My Crazy Twisted Dark Fantasy and the Jay Z/ Kanye collaboration album Watch the Throne.
About the Film Thaddeus (RZA) is back in this explosive action adventure inspired by Kung Fu classics.  A reluctant villager joins forces with a mysterious outsider to fight off powerful evil forces, both earthly and otherworldly, in a 19^th century Chinese mining town. When a stranger, Thaddeus, is found badly wounded near the village, miner Li Kung (Dustin Nguyen) and his wife Ah Ni (Eugenia Kang) offer him refuge. As he heals, he becomes entrenched in a conflict that pits the townsfolk against the evil Master Ho (Carl Ng), his nefarious Beetle Clan and the terrifying Lord Pi (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa). With Thaddeus at his side, the mild-mannered Kung transforms into a deadly warrior in this martial arts epic.

TRIS PRYOR LORDS OVER MTV MOVIE AWARDS!

ANNE HATHAWAY WINS BRIT BATTLE AND SHOW EMILY BLUNT HOW TO F--- OFF!

CORRUPT COPS STILL AFTER CHRIS ROCK'S ASS.

ANDY GARCIA TO HOST DOCU, ON SAINT JOHN PAUL II ON SELECT PBS STATION. IT WILL NOT AIR IN LOS ANGELES OR NEW YORK.

-- A new documentary on St. John Paul II and his relationship with North and South America will screen this month on PBS-affiliated stations and EWTN, the international Catholic network, helping to commemorate the 10th anniversary of the pope's death on April 2, 2005. The film was produced by the Knights of Columbus.
"John Paul II in America: Uniting a Continent" explores the indelible mark left on the Western Hemisphere by the papacy of John Paul II. It will be shown on PBS stations nationwide beginning on Good Friday, April 3, and will be available throughout a large portion of the U.S. later in the month on CatholicTV of Boston and EWTN.
St. John Paul presented an understanding of a "united American continent" under the patronage of Our Lady of Guadalupe, and his travels as pope from Argentina to Alaska — 22 journeys in all — generated massive crowds, helped form an entire generation of Catholics, and played a part in shaping history.
Viewers will be both intrigued and moved by the documentary's framework for understanding one of the giant figures of modern times within the context of the American continent.
Narrated by actor Andy Garcia, the film features rare archival footage and analyses from leading Catholic figures, including Cardinal Seán P. O'Malley of Boston, Knights of Columbus Supreme Knight Carl A. Anderson, John Paul II biographer George Weigel and former Vatican spokesman Joaquín Navarro-Valls.
"John Paul II brought a great renewal of confidence, excitement and joy to Christian life that was manifested in such events as the canonization of St. Juan Diego in Mexico City and the World Youth Days in Buenos Aires, Denver and Toronto," said Knights of Columbus Supreme Knight Carl Anderson. "He also issued a renewed call for human dignity, the gospel of life, respect for indigenous people, and a commitment to the poor throughout Latin America and North America."
Air dates for the documentary on PBS affiliates include:

• Maine's PTV on Easter Sunday, April 5, at 5 p.m. and 11 p.m.
• Vermont Public Television on Easter Sunday, April 5, at 4:30 p.m.
• KOZJ-TV in Joplin, Mo., on Easter Sunday, April 5, at 2:30 p.m. and 10 p.m.
• KEDT-TV in Corpus Christi, Texas, on Easter Sunday, April 5, at 3 p.m. and on Tuesday, April 14, at 11 p.m.
• KOZK-TV in Springfield, Mo., on Easter Sunday, April 5, at 2:30 p.m. and 10 p.m.
• KUSD-TV in South Dakota on Easter Sunday, April 5, at 10 p.m.
• KRSC-TV (aka RSU-TV) in Tulsa, Okla., on Good Friday, April 3, Easter Sunday, April 5, at 11 p.m.; and on Wednesday, April 8, at 11 a.m.
• WEFS-TV in Cocoa, Fla., on Easter Sunday, April 5, at 10 p.m.
• Colorado's Rocky Mountain PBS and KTSC-TV in Colorado Springs/Pueblo on Easter Sunday, April 5, at 2 p.m.
• WNGH-TV on Chattanooga, Tenn. on Wednesday, April 8, at 12:30 a.m.
• Georgia's statewide public television on Wednesday, April 8, at 12:30 a.m.
• KAKM-TV in Anchorage, KYUK-TV in Bethel and and Juneau's KTOO on Thursday, April 23, at 8 p.m. and on Friday, April 24, at 12 a.m.

AVRIL LAVIGNE'S COMPLICATED HEALTH.

FROM HOLLYWOOD, THE TRUTH ABOUT JUSTIN BIEBER.

BIEBER FORGET STUFF AROUND ARIANA WITH BIG SEAN.