DATA HARD: 5

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

EXPOSE: WHAT DO YOU DO, WITH ONLY AN HOUR TO EXPLORE WONDERCON? NOT MUCH.

The calm and professional Asian Lady, approved my press pass. She told me I only have an hour, since its the last day. Also,that despite nearly 650,000 hits last year, my site barely made the cut for a pass.

First, I go upstairs and realized all the live chat rooms have finished. I made my way, to the South hall of the LA Convention Center. I get a free comic book, with four mini stories that go nowhere. I walk through "Artists' Alley" to the only exciting place on the whole floor-the video game arcade area.

I stopped and played Resident Evil X (I can't remember which number.) I pick a cop role and shoot zombies in the head, in a stage called "Urban Chaos." My avatar doesn't die, but I don't complete the area for not killing enough zombies. I quit and then played Mega Man 6.

It thought this would be nostalgic, but it made me remember all the things I hated- about this series. Like, why are there No mega woman villains? Hello, schlocky controls of Mega Man. I get to the villain of stage and step too far over and I'm back five screens where I was. I then ask a lady worker, about an Umbrella Corps-another Zombie survival game made as Unreal- Tournament.

I then hit the Nintendo area, where the lines for the new Star Fox was endless, including cockpit versions. I then decided to play the new DS Metroid game: Federation Force. Its look and controls are similar to Metroid: Prime.

Sadly, I was stuck at a snow-base, trying repeatedly -to pass a huge grey door, which when you finally figure out how to open it, you have to hurry before it closes. When you find the door, it's closed again, and you get attacked a small squad of aliens, which are easy to take out at a distance.

After this, I go to the Capcom area- which has a entire wall of the hit game, Street Fighter 5, complete with arcade style controls. With time running out, this white guy and I stepped up, to one of the machines in the middle. We decide to the control women, and have Chun Li and Cammy partake- in a karate cat fight.

Except, after choosing the arena, the game won't start. We both tried our controls several times to start it up...Nothing. We even ask the one of the workers, dressed as a Lynda Carter era Wonder Woman. After ogling her, she realized she couldn't help. I thank her, and she acknowledges it.

After that, a lady announcer tells everybody to leave. I check my watch and realize- I have five minutes left.

I find a chat room (near the snack bar) about Star Trek V. Star Wars: led by a Kevin Smith look-a-like, doing a talk show with a hand-held mike. He discussed with a bunch of experts about why "the USS Defiant led by Admiral Akbar" would "kick the ass of a star destroyer" led by Han Solo or something. It was a weirdly intriguing and creative debate. The panel was both- witty and surprisingly knowledgeable, about their subject matter. Donald Trump could learn a thing or three here.