WITH BILLIONS OF DOLLARS BANKED (W/ INTEREST,) X-BOX LIVE SCREWS PLAYERS W/- TOO HIGH SCUMBAG PRICES!

TWO HIT RAP WONDER SOULJA BOY, GOT ME TOO-ED.

WHAT PATRICK STEWART WANTS FOR PICARD, YEAR 2.

LADY GAGA KILLS GOLDEN GOOSE AND SINGS WELL, FOR NEW PRES. JOE BIDEN.

"ANNIE" HATHAWAY IS SO FOLKSY, OFF STAGE.

REAL NEWS: NEW PRES. BIDEN, FINALLY GETS SHOT AT RUNNING THE WHITE HOUSE.

MUSICALLY TALENTED MURDERER, PHIL SPECTOR- MAYBE ON THE ROAD TO HELL TODAY.

MUSICIAN DR. DRE, IN ICU -OVER BRAIN CLOTTING ISSUES.

MICHAEL KEATON RETURNS AS THE MAIN BATMAN, IN NEW TRILOGY.

EX-BOND GIRL TANYA ROBERTS, BECOMES THAT 70s ANGEL AGAIN.

BIPOLAR LADY BOXER SUCCEEDS, W/ 2 WAYS HOME.

DAWN WELLS, TV'S MARY ANN RETURNS TO HEAVEN- TO CONTINUE HER ETERNAL CATFIGHT W/ GINGER.

KIM+KANYE, ON THE ROCKS?

AUNT BECKY IS NOW A PAROLEE.

BETTER CALL SAUL'S BOB ODENKIRK ,IS NOBODY.

THE LITTLE THINGS, COULD HELP DENZEL WASHINGTON TO ANOTHER HIT FILM.

THAT BLACK BASTARD THAT -ATTACKED RETURNING GHOST-BUSTER STAR, RICK MORANIS- IS NOW ARRESTED.

WHEN HE REALIZED JOE BIDEN WOULD SAVE AMERICA- ALEX TREBEK CHECKED OFF THE EARTH.

BRAD PITT'S CURRENT MAY-DECEMBER ROMANCE, IN THE TOILET.

FAST & FURIOUS DIES OUT, IN 2 MORE FILMS AND STARLORD IS THE AVENGERS WORST CHRIS?!