OSCAR STORIES: SAM L. JACKSON & DUSTIN HOFFMAN.EXCLUSIVE!

A Latino security guard, was impressed by an old joke, done by the Outbreak star. After finding, a lot of metal objects (a myriad of change and keys,) that charming thespian- began throwing his jacket on the table, in mock anger. Then, he begins to unzip his pants.The old security pro- begins to lose it, with laughter.The other guards applauded the Marathon Man, who reclaims his items and refastens his pants.

The guard was less impressed, with both Oscar host Seth McFarland and Samuel L. Jackson. He thought they dressed, "like hobos." He said Jackson was "dressed in a Gilligan hat" and a dirty blue track suit and had a "bad attitude" to boot.

OSCAR STORIES- RUSSELL CROWE (EXCLUSIVE)

Our rep strolls up his friend, Dawn.They are both backstage of Dolby Theatre ,at the Academy Awards. Dawn is giddy and claims that Liam Neeson just passed by her,going into a realistic grass maze- that escaped the climax of The Shinning.

The two friends talk about how cool, that old action star still is, for 10 minutes. They discuss how awesome the Taken movies were, How he "trained" Batman and his semi-godly turn in Clash of the Titans.

The American Gangster star appears and our rep seems to be confused,not seeing the first Darkman.Crowe stuns them both by revealing...

Russell Crowe: I am NOT Liam Neeson.I'm Russell Crowe. I heard every thing you guys said- behind that maze there.

The two shocked, by the celebrity eavesdropper's statement.They are silent, wondering what to say to the acting Gladiator.

RC: You know, From A Beautiful Mind.

Our rep agrees with a knowing head nod.Dawn continues with her confusion,as she's never seen that film.

Crowe just smiles,looks at his expensive watch and said....

RC: Well, back to the salt mines.

Our rep, gets just enough courage to make a lame joke. He wished "Mr Crowe" to "Have a G'Day!"

The actor stops at the door,to mumble something...Assholish and continues to the main stage.