EDDIE MURPHY GOES WARP NINE, OVER A "WHITE" HOT GIRL, IN STARSHIP DAVE!!

DUDE, THIS IS AN EXCLUSIVE!!

In the film- Murphy plays....a living starship run by mini-aliens that are friendly, who are doing recon. exploration on Earth (there's NO other way to say this.)

The aliens' mission is compromised when "the ship" appears to be falling in love with an Earth woman, The 40 Year old Virgin's Elizabeth Banks (the girl who screwed a shower facet as a warm-up for Steve Carell!!)

The naturally sweet, high concept, romantic comedy also stars Gabrielle Union and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back's cameoist Marc Blucas who may help or are trying to destroy this paring.

Right now, a highly realistic carnival is in the New York area of Universal Studios, Hollywood. Hundreds of extras are having a decent time, riding a huge functional roller coaster, tilt a whirl and a Ferris wheel.

Ex-80's sit-com star, producer of Smallville, and arrogant scumbag, director Brain Robbins (alleged by his ex wife) gives the two and 1/2 block spectacle, true authenticity. The best example of which is the lame, obscure arcade games in the back ground (a barely working Sega Power Drift game, late '70s shooting alley and a clown ball rolling game.) I guess modern Carnies can't afford OutRun 2, Time Crisis 3, and/or Tekken 4 & 5?

THIS WEEK- ON...TO CATCH A PREDATOR: 3 SOON TO BE EX-DISNEY EMPLOYEES...

In Florida, Fox News ("your voice for evil") confirmed on their website that three men: "Julio Segundo, a 21-year-old intern; Richard Gaugh, a 55-year-old part-time instructor at Disney's Animal Kingdom; and Thierry Ferron, a 44-year-old electronics technician," were caught in "Operation Cyber Hawk, an undercover operation aimed at luring sexual predators out of the woodwork."

Disney refused comment- other than to state through Zoraya Suarez- their PR rep, is taking the incidents "seriously" and must "take appropriate action."



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ASHLEY JUDD'S HIGH CRIME: INFERTILITY!?



An unconfirmed report states that the Ensign Lefler's "plumbing is (all) fucked up" and is seeking help with alternate means of legal conception.

Details are still sketchy and may explain why the actor's plate has been so empty lately, as she and her husband have been trying to emotionally deal the pain and pressure of family. More to come, if and when it comes in.

BEING JOHN MALKOVICH IS HELL (SOMETIMES.)

At a well-kept Santa Monica eatery, a crew member grips about working on an alleged update to the Arthur C. Riley classic 2001: A Space Odyssey. They were shooting footage outside, and some lookie-loos came over to this gentleman.

They asked for what movie they were shooting and he told them. Then, they asked who the star was and he said John Malkovich. The barely 18 yr. old girl innocently replied,"Oh...Who's that?" The crew member rolled his eyes to his best friend, as their order arrived.

MARCIA! MARCIA! MARCIA! WAS ON COCAINE?! COCAINE?! COCAINE!?

Maureen McCormick: timeless hottie & hopelessly trapped in mod 70's looks, on the classic sit-com, The Brady Bunch is finally dealing with some huge skeletons in her past.

She confirmed that she had an eating disorder (bulimia-overeating & throwing up food) and the snorting of the white pony. The vomiting began, soon after she returned to public school at age 17.

Then, a scumbag boyfriend gave the now 50 year old ex-actress, her first fix with snow.Only through "therapy and faith" has helped Lady Brady off her dangerous addictions.

TERRENCE HOWARD'S PRIDE, LEAD HIM TO A SALACIOUS HIT ON A BLOND IN TAXI.

“I want you to pop the zits on my back with your teeth,” said the Hustle and Flow ex-pimp,to the Jeri Ryan-like glamazon.“And you can tell Page Six!,” the prominent actor stated-from a New York cabbie who "swears" to this story,but is afraid to be named from it.

GRAY'S SANDRA OH, A REAL AMERICAN HERO!

She was shopping in a supermarket- while still wearing her scrubs from the set of TV's new #1 show. A baby began choking, inside the San Fernando store- when the ex-Arli$$ star heard this.

Fearlessly (and with her training from the medical consults on the show,) the fake doctor took the infant and started hitting his back hard repeatedly- while the baby was upside down. Then, the candy that was trying to kill the child, was expelled from its mouth. The mom thanked the actress, while the child cried and attempted to regain normal breathing.

MEDIA BYTES: J. LO HER OWN "IDOL" & GEICO CAVEMAN TO GET THEIR OWN SHOW!!







MTV Tr3s, the Latino arm of the station confirmed that Jennifer Lopez will be a guest judge and sing her latest single- on the singing competition extravaganza. It should happen, sometime next month- in time of the CD's release.






ABC-TV confirmed that ad man, Joe Lawson's idea for Geico's "... So easy a Caveman could do it" spots-will give its angry, articulate, Armani wearing Neanderthals- their own single, camera sit-com.





No word on whether Lawson, also responsible for the infamous Tiny House and the long, running British spouting, gecko of the insurance outfit, will be working on the show. The cave actors in the spots are in talks to join the program.

HEROES STAR BEING READIED FOR 24 COMPANION PIECE IN THE FALL.

Jon Cassar- created the spin-off of the every second counts thriller, called NSA: Innocence. The show, plays like Alias in reverse- as a yet to be named male is brought into the world of espionage and spying.

Stana Katic, (Hana from Heroes) will be the Sydney Bristo-like character, that helps him adjust to his new, Bondian life.

The actress is also an Alias alum and has been featured on ER and the little seen action flick, Pit Fighter. Looks like, she will have a short life, as a Hero, or herione.

GREY'S ANATOMY SPIN-OFF IN THE WORKS! (UPDATE)

-Kate Walsh's Dr Addison Montgomery-Shepherd will star.

The show's producers is prepping a two-hour "back-door" pilot that would air at the top of the May ratings sweeps period. It goes with out saying it will do well in the ratings. Still, if become an artistic masterstroke- similar to the ensemble, "new" Hollywood medical drama, it could be on the ABC schedule by fall of 2007.

Update (2/24/07) : Taye Diggs- of the noble, but crashed Groundhog Day as 24 thriller, Daybreak will co-star and executive produce, the stealth May pilot with creator Shondra Rimes. Finally, a rumor has come forward that Karyn Parsons (Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Lush Life) will play a relative of the Diggs character and create working family tension.

ONCE CAMERON GOES BLACK....

-Angels Star and Blood Diamond Kingpin now an item.

Djimon Hounsou, co-star of Blood Diamond and Cameron Diaz are dating. This is after Cameron's much publicized break up and public spats with white soul brother # 2, Justin Timberlake.

Honsou, is up for an Oscar for his involvement with in the Leo Dicap. film. Right now, actresses consider him- the biggest sexual catch of the year. Tabloids have pegged the pair, the next power couple in town that will last for years, before they break-up spectacularly.

IS KATE BECKINGSALE ANOTHER, ARROGANT BRITISH ACTRESS?

DUDE, THIS IS AN EXCLUSIVE!!!

The Tonight Show's supervising producer Larry Goitia, was attempting to show last week's guest- Underworld mistress Kate Beckinsale around the set. The guy attempted to curry favor with Union Jack actress, as she arrived, but she would have none of it.

Pointblank, the Click co-star told him to "get the #### away from my limo!" When Larry G. attempted to find out the problem and show her to her dressing room again, she repeated her vile remark. Since, she has done the show many times before, and had some pent-up hate for the man, she just walked right into the studio and found her own way.

Some construction workers watched this display, they just looked at the Tonight show producer...and greatly laughed their asses off.

JOSS WHEDON SCREWED OFF WONDER WOMAN PROJECT!!!
-Buying of spec script destroys his vision of comic icon.

Last week's buying of the spec script by Matthew Jennison and Brent Strickland, was now purchased for being a new and "complete" idea. The intial reason, that the buy was an a pre-emptive strike to stave off law suit- was just mostly a smoke screen.

Inside sources at Warner Bros told Whedon to use the script and alter any ideas that he saw fit. Still, the creator of Angel was apparently, too heartbroken to rewrite or direct- the long gestating project.

Also, the studio battled with Whedon over casting- as Whedon wanted a newcomer to grow into the role (As Lynda Carter did for the TV series or as Brandon Routh is pathetically doing now in awful and badly rushed Superman Returns.) The Bros. wanted either a star or a character actress of some note.

Whedon's dismissal may have also been because Warner feared, he was taking the script into a "Ang Lee direction" as movie-goers remember, the famous Hulk mega bomb of a few years ago (too MUCH angst and backstory with few & too long action sequences.)

Still, if the spec script is the new blueprint, Super producer Joel Silver has long stated, he wants a modern wonder woman...story and no plans to take the character back to her genesis days, back in WWII.

Some feminist directors and writers may see this as a break. A chance to Oprahized the role- in their own actual image. In fact, a lady director could make the film hotter for men, without exploiting Diana Price's image (too much) for the women.

BIG BRANDY LAWSUIT MAYBE OFF, DUE TO DUBIOUS CLAIMS BY PLAINTIFFS.


The parents are suing singer "Brandy" Norwood, and trying to get criminal charges filled against her- for allegedly killing their daughter in a car accident.

Celebrity Justice site, TMZ learned that the victim Awatef Aboudihaj died as a result of the crash on Dec. 30 after the former Moesha star Rear ended her on a freeway in the LA area.

The bitch of it, the parents HAVE NO LEGAL CLAIM to sue. That would be up to husband to file that cause of action (under CA laws.)Second, this suit was filled without the husband's consent and according the site's evidence, all contact between to family was minimal in the last 10 years.

This means some petty family issues, had divided the family- before that fateful day. The case will most likely be tossed out of court, since the only way around CA law is to prove her family (who live exclusively in Morocco) was totally, dependant financially on their daughter. Again, NO proof exist to substantiate this.

Still, the husband's lawyer- Bill Sayed stated that the most capable of America's Got Talent judges, "will be resolved by settlement or jury verdict." Sayed will demand Norwood's "insurance policy limit --
plus something additional from Brandy herself."

Bill Murray Looks for Super Bowl Tickets

UPDATE:
THE BECKHAMS TO DO NBC's OSBOURNES KNOCK-OFF.
-FOX Out as power couple's new TV home.

David Beckham, the soccer god who will attempt to save big money European football in the US (before its too late) will star in a reality show with his ex-Spice Girl wife Victoria (Posh Spice- the least talented/most off key of the five) on the Deal or No Deal channel.

Like the famed Osbournes show, the show attempt to mesh their professional lives with on-air family situations to create an instant sit-com.

A member of the too rich couple's estate, who curiously didn't what to be named, stated "At the moment neither David nor Victoria are majorly famous in the States, but starring in their own show on one of
America's biggest channels would catapult them to instant stardom."

PARIS FOCUSES ON ACTING- BY GOING COLD TURKEY ON PARTYING.

Since primary filming starting on The Hottie & the Nottie, she has been logging 10 hours a day on the set and has been noticeably absent on the partying scene, across the Hollywood area.

Still, that average is below industry norms, REAL actors average 12-16 hours a day on the most set. Inside sources also have witnessed Mini-parties taking place, back at Hilton's hotel penthouse, which means the studio is technically paying for it.

THE DEMISE OF JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE & CAMERON DIAZ'S LONG TERM ROMANCE!
-Inside sources blame The Black Dahlia herself, Scarlett Johansson.<---

The two had been flirting on and off since early last year. Cameron Diaz was aware of it and was very jealousy of the Island beauty. Her casting in Justin's latest video- as a video 'ho, was completely behind the back of America's current movie princess Diaz. She only recently got her career back on track with the global success of The Holiday (after last year's disastrous chick flick In Her Shoes.)

In addition, close friends to both Diaz & the Sexyback artist stated that Justin "would never marry" Diaz- fearing a Ben Affleck/ Jennifer Lopez backlash, while trying to establish a film career in the upcoming movie, Alpha Dog.

Justin was greatly ashamed and embarrassed, when his screen debut amongst movie legends (Morgan Freeman, Oscar recipient Kevin Spacey;etc.) in Edison Force, was dumped as a movie release and put straight on DVD, when everyone saw- how bad his debut was, in the crime drama.

CBS REJECTS POSSIBLE PORN AD.

The adult website Booble tried to buy an ad, for the next Superbowl on CBS for $2.6 million. The network still smarting for the Janet Jackson "wardrobe malfunction" fiasco two years ago (and still appealing the FCC to get its $550 million back) soundly refused the sleazy, pornographer's offer.

Booble founder Bob Smart claimed ,"At one point I offered $50 million," and the Eye Network "never even called back."

Judge for yourself, the link below will show the ad.
http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid353549946/bctid413298104

Transformers 2007!

Insider footage + promo/previews and well as the rockin theme music from the toy phenom.

IS BLADE: TRINITY STAR'S IRS TROUBLE PAYBACK FOR HIM SMACKING AROUND HALLE BERRY?

Back when they dating, Wesley Snipes was rumored to punch-out, the now rich and well trained Die Another Day beauty - when he was angry. Apperanty, he may caused damage to one of ears that caused near-deafness (with about 70% hearing loss in that ear.)

Some say- with Berry's new clout as a popular Oscar winning actress, that Wesley's legal issues became an arrestable issue, when he started making money with his Jessica Biel starrer.

LAYLA ALI CHARGES HBO- ON THE GROUNDS OF TRYING TO KILL WOMEN'S BOXING.


The famed, lady pugilist told a local,Los Angeles radio DJ (known only as Dirty Bird,) that HBO is using its muscle to squash femme-fights NOT ONLY on its own card, but on rival, lower ranked ones as well.
Like LaRocca's sexist, pressing of Jackie Kallen (in Meg Ryan's Against the Ropes,) HBO thinks if it can push women's boxing- off the map, it will go away and leave no competitive advantage to rival Showtime, one of the few and main places, where the title IX created sport has flourished.

PARIS HILTON TAKES ANOTHER "UGLY" STAB AT ACTING.

In The Hottie and the Nottie- the slutty celebutant will be an "ugly girl" to be fixed up by the main star of the star of the movie. The main star (short list: Lindsey Lohan, Brittany Murphy or Beyonce K.) will only marry her boyfriend,if her "ugly" friend finds love first.

Will Smith Pursues 'Happyness'

JENNIFER ANISTON TURNED DOWN, AS A VILLAIN ON 24- BY SHOW'S CREATOR JOEL SURNOW.

The Emmy Winning executive Producer deemed the former Rachel "too recognizable."

He continue with the assault of the Derailed Uber beauty:
"You can't put those people on (the show) because they're too recognizable. They'll take you (viewers) out of the reality."

Ben Stiller was also regarded as "too famous" for every seconds counts, spy thriller, by the show's producer.

YOU'RE FIRED!! PETER JACKSON OFF THE HOBBIT PREQUEL.

The Director has a dispute with New Line Cinema, over profits from the Lord of the Rings trilogy worth over $100 million. Since, the studio needs to exercise its rights- to make the movie before they expire and Jackson won't commit until the case settles, the man was removed from the preproduction.

Here's where the story gets weird, New Line still wants Jackson to helm "an unnamed sequel" to The Hobbit, when the first is finished. Also, MGM claims to own the rights the Hobbit and are going ahead with their own version. MGM wants the Oscar winning director to take the lead on that project.

WHO'S YOUR DADDY! EDDIE MURPHY AND GINGER SPICE TO HAVE PATERNITY TEST OVER CHILD.


"...I don't know whose child that is, until it comes out and has a blood
test. You shouldn't jump to conclusions, sir.," ranted Eddie Murphy on a Dutch talk show when it was revealed he broke-up with former Spice Girl Melaine B. (Ginger/Scary Spice.)

The two had been dating for six months, right after his divorce. "You're being presumptuous, because we're not together anymore," continued Murphy when the chat turned predatory when the Dutch host told him that the 2 becomes 1 singer hinted the Nutty Professor was the daddy of unborn child.

EXPOSE: YO ADRIAN!!STOP BEING A HOMOPHOBIC AUDIENCE BOOKER.

Beware working for the BARELY minimum wage paying, quickly decaying whore-known only as Adrian. Anyone who has working for the shrill voiced and her ugly British bulldog second, who only goes by Alex, are known for bullying those poor souls who they don't like, because the are no protection for the so-called workers of the secret business of audience work in CA. Since, they are no unions for this type of work or taxes paid (therefore technically the "independent contractor" has few, if little rights working for what maybe only one day barely, if that.)

The worst of which is an unfortunately personal LIE that plagues this reporter. When I checked out a sexy, Hawaiian looking lady for a moment she used the moment to start,Do u think he's straight poll with two ugly girls one of which works for her. Than told me that this believe would "always follow me and you can't run form it" Then, later Alex joked wouldn't book me "...Because WE HATE YOU" and she laughed gleefully.

First, I'M NOT GAY and never engaged in such acts. So, it disgusting to see people engaged in a bigoted conspiracy to turn me into a gay joke (you have Perez Hilton for that and he is out) and then get mad me because I REFUSE to play out stereotypical gayness (Richard Simmons;etc..) This just proves my theory--just how childish, evil and narrow-minded cliquish people like this, really are.

Basically, the only reason I went was to get a sneak peek (and make a little dough) on the then new show Identity, because this selfish c*&% and her ugly, rotund Brit blocked my way, just because they could.

Also, I don't care if it just a joke they use because they know it will hurt me or play on others' worst and basically UNPROVEN fears and hatred of gays. It needs to stop. It's boring and just shows why they are where they are in life. At the very bottom of the reality TV well, where hopefully they will drown.

I, like so many of you have too many problems in my life and then have to deal with open hate on an issue where there is no proof of guilt on my part. The only proof on that for anyone, is being caught fucking another man: innuendo and stigmatizing minor behaviors are just sadistic LIES. If you don't like me, I could give less than a
f$%* myself. So, idiots act professionally and basically leave me alone, I was there for the money and to do my jobs--not to be a target or a victim.

NOTE: Please forgive my somewhat personal response to this report. Like any good journalist, you try not to get to involved with the story beyond the telling of it, even in so-called Hollywood news.

ARE DENNIS MILLER AND MICHAEL RICHARDS RACIST RUNNING BUDDIES?

Dennis Miller had his MSNBC talk show canceled, not just because it sucked or had low ratings, or turned his back on his liberal roots-like he was Ron Silver.

An inside source- formerly involved with the audience casting- reveled that Miller told them point blank, that he wanted more white faces in the crowd,as that was his show's demographic. He also hinted that unless they seemed to be big fans, to severely reduce, the number of blacks in his audience too.

This might explain Miller's GUILT, when he appeared as guest on the new surprise hit, Politically Incorrect style show- Comic Unleashed with Byron Allen (Yes, He's still around & Entertainers is still a late-night cult hit!?)Miller even attempted a joke, so controversial & mean spirited, filled with personal libel that it was severely bleeped from the final version that aired in LA last night on KABC-7.

NO DEAL! ARSENIO GONE AS DAYTIME DEALMASTER. MARK CURRY IN?

Buzzer blog reported that the one time Prince of late night, has bolted from the syndicated version of Deal or No Deal. He ran into major problems, from the network big wigs. Hanging w/ Mr. Copper Star and host of the brief, but short lived Don't Forget Your Toothbrush, Mark Curry is close to signing on, as the show's new MC.

SUPER LIBERAL CRUSADER, GLORIA ALLRED TO REP VICTIMS OF HATEFUL, IDIOTIC, TIRADE OF MICHAEL "KRAMER" RICHARDS-IN COURT.

"There was nothing professional about his act at all!," Frank McBride and Kyle Doss, the LA two- who were the called the N-word like it was 1799. "I just told him- Hey!! My friend doesn't think your funny and after that..."F*&% U N-word!" Doss likens the incident to a hateful lesson of Richards telling them (He'll)"still be rich and he'll still be (black.)"

Allred "issued a challenge" to Cosmo to apologize to the two in person, and not through the media. If he doesn't, he will "bear the consequence" in court AKA give us a proper settlement or else.

McBride and Doss stated, they felt the Letterman apology "was totally fake. It was forced...It wasn't sincere." What do the two men want after a revolting incident like this? "To be compensated for what happened," declared Doss.

Micheal Richards Apologizes On David Letterman

There are no words. Play the tape, if u think he's telling the truth or just trying to save his ass.

EMINEM TO PLAY "THE HEART OF A MAN" AND "A KNIGHT WITHOUT HONOR IN A SAVAGE LAND" IN 50'S TV WESTERN REMAKE.

The caustic lyricist has been absent from the big screen for four years now (since Oscar winning 2002 flick 8 Mile.) Still, he will pick the role of gun-fighter Palladin in the re-"imagining" of Rabbit Ears era western, Have Gun Will Travel.

The rapper will record a new version of the theme & songs inspired by the era- on his soundtrack for the movie.

It seems the story will be adapted for modern times and be filmed in Detroit. Em also intends to maintian the classy and highly educated veneer of the two-gun, peace maker.

FIRST MR. SPEARS, JASON ALEXANDER RATES FAILED HUSBAND K-FED!

"I think he is an idiot," proclaimed the UFC pit-fighter with one of, the shortest marriages in human history (55 Hrs.) He considered the nascent rapper: a male gold-digger, since all he'd seen him do "is spend money."

"I still love her...," the big lug admitted and seem to be requesting a second chance. "I'm a good guy to talk to and I'm here for you." Apparently, Alexander had seen a recent rerun of Seinfeld, since "that there for you crap...is genius."

Borat's Pimp My Ride (exxklusiv.)

More with the annoying, Arab "journalist" with that MTV flavor.

SICK, RUSSIAN BASTARD FAILS TO DESTROY MATERIAL GIRL STAR HILARY DUFF.

Maksim Miakovsky was arrested by police for his murderous attempted to eliminate singer/actress Hilary Duff. The barely legal Russian immigrant was arrested at a Manhattan Beach hotel after speaking with a P.I. (hired by Duff) to confirm his intention to do harm to the ex- Lizzie McGuire star.

Duff took out a restraining order on him last month when her life and that of her paramour Good Charlotte front man Joel Madden, by the Ex-Commonwealthist.

The allegedly, sick boy rots in jail, waiting to be released on $200,000 with his first day in court to take place tomorrow.

OWEN WILSON TAKES SANTA MONICA,CA BY STORM.
(AN EXCLUSIVE!)
His new flick, Dilbit Taylor was filming in the area today. The film closed down a popular Italian restaurant and an area called the Mine Shaft, near a local pawn shop.

The Paramount movie, then moved back to the Pizza Parlor to finish for the evening. When the crew first arrived, a gaggle of senior citizen background artists- flocked into the restaurant.

MEDIABYTES: COMIC AS NEW TV SHOW, & 24's POWER PLAY.

Moon Knight is about Marc Specter becoming a Batman-like crime fighter, after being bestowed the power of The Egyptian god of moon who lords over vengeance. The show is being developed by a Canadian company for the American syndicated market.

ON 24, Powers Booth will play V.P. to Bobby Kennedyish realist and "bro" ex-pres. David Palmer, Wayne as he does what the real RFK never did, survive to make it to the white house. Plus, Harold & Kumar's Kal Penn with assist Star Trek vets, Alex Siddig (Syrianna)and James Cromwell (First Contact, Babe) with the saving of Jack Bauer from Communist China. Every second counts on Jan 14.

Here's the new host of Daytime Deal or No Deal, Arseniooooooooooo Hall!!

That's right. His friend & frequent guest to his old talk show, Howie Mandel suggested him for the daytime version and a deal was quickly sealed.

Ars has been taping test shows for weeks now.

WITH SMITH GONE, CBS GOES TO WILL....SMITH FOR THEIR NEXT HIT.

The Smiths (Will and Jada-NOT John & Jane) along with Showrunners, Jan Nash and Jennifer Levin will produce an ER/Outbreak type show for the Eye network. The show will focus on Center for Disease Control healers traveling the world to destroy all evil assed diseases.

FINISH CIA PATSY STAN. ARRRGGGH!! LETHAL LOIS WINS. HA HA AH HA HA.


Go to this website, to see if the family from the SECOND best animated show (after The Simpsons)- can defeat the kinda popular knock-off of the Griffins. The Simpsons and the Hills are pressing legal action for not being involved in this endeavor.

Also, due to their pacifist, liberal beliefs, Guy's Brian and the remaining Dad members are sitting the violent satire of expliotation out, for now. Finally, beat all known fighters in the game and you face the grand champion, Ryu from Street Fighter 2!!



http://www.americandadvsfamilyguy.com/

FIND YOUR HAPPY HOUR WHEN SMITH IS KIDNAPPED, BY THE NETWORKS.

In other words, these three shows have just been canceled. The actually winner is receiving their walking papers first, was the dark Ray-Liotta/Virgina Madsen caper serial. It was never a contender against arrogantly, funny Boston Legal and SVU juggernaut on Tuesday.

Kidnapped's destruction was a long time coming as the Tim Hutton (Ordinary People) starer couldn't muster-half the number of Law & Order Prime on Wednesday. It will be moved immediately to Saturdays and producers were told to wrap all storylines by its 13th show, to satisfy any fans held hostage by this unarresting drama.


Hour which never considered a strong contender to begin with, and was just a time-slot holder between 'Til Death and Celebrity Duets (which also unlikely to return.)

Fox promised it would be back after the Fall Classic, but where and why the unfunny, low rated program would go back on the schedule, um...That network had no comment.

ALEC BALDWIN TO SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR: YOU'RE A "PUSHY PRIMA DONNA."

That's what an inside source said, the usually renewed character actor called the new queen of horror. In The Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing (Gellar's first NON-horror film in LONG time) The former Ms. Summers co-stars with the one damn, good time Jack Ryan, in a May-December romantic movie.

In light of Baldwin's recent divorce fiascoes with Oscar winner/Ex wife, Kim Bassinger (too numerous to mention) over his daughter, has driven the boss of The Cooler insane. Ergo, he is driving the film's crew and Gellar herself crazy.

Gellar who has built a rep of being "very professional and hardworking", but Gellar didn't like being called a diva and "recently called (sarcastically) Baldwin a nice guy," only because mainstream media forces were on the set that day.

While the crew tried to be understanding about Baldwin's legal woes, it allegedly led Gellar to declare him a "bastard" and a "tyrant" whenever he wasn't on set or stuck in his trailer.

Paris Hilton - Nothing in this World Music Video (NEW)

Here's Hilton's latest CRAPTACULAR music video. Try to enjoy, if U can.

QUICKIE MOVIE REVIEWS.

Everyone's Hero: I walked into the wrong cineaplex, or I wouldn't even have bother with this pre-cool Disney Channel crap. The little boy was ok, for a kid with no personality. The talking bat and ball might could have been more entertaining instead of just annoying. Assholish Robin Williams generates what few real laughs are in this movie (as the key villain) and the talking ball (voiced by Mel Gibson's nemesis Rob Reiner, doing his best Billy Crystal impression (and succeeding at times.)

Being honest about the homeless situation (then and now) and Negro League ball with the little black girl, was truly interesting without turning it into a history lesson. William H. Macy is wasted as the villain's stooge and the voice of Darling is just bitchingly repellent as Babe's Ruth legendary bat. Plus, shouldn't the guy voice the long fallic object and the chick voice the tiny,breast-like circular ball?
Score: Ensign



The Protector:

The action was fantastic, if at times it had nothing to do with the story. Like Jet Li and Bruce Li before him, Tony Jaa project his presence & emotions well on-screen when generally not killing people. But, lacks Jackie Chan humanity and clearly need to get a sense of humor about the absurdity of his situatuation. Xing Jing, as the twisted feminist queen-pin of crime Rose is the real find here. She displays the type of talents to get to the top of female Asian actress royalty (Lucy Lui, and Kelly Hu.) Also, her command of the language is clearly superior to other foreign Asian actresses her field (Ziyi Zhang [who speaks English well now, but very slowly]and retarded-neo racist/garbled portrayal by Gong Li [Miami Vice.])It would have been nice, if Jaa looked at the hot mud wrestling girl who helped him, liked he looked at his kidnapped elephants in this flick though.
Score:Lt.






Movie Rating Legend-

Ensign- Rookie
Lt.- Decent/O.K.
Lt. Commander-Very Good
Commander- Great
Captain- Excellent
Admiral- Spectacular


Catch Up Reviews:

Fast & Furious Tokyo Drift- Lt.
My Super Ex-Girlfriend-Lt. Cmr.

CRUISE LIFTS HIS MIDDLE FINGER TO REDSTONE- WITH HIS $200 MILLION FILM INVESTMENT!!

Dan Snyder, Owner of the Washington Redskins has made this cash commitment to Cruiser & producing partner Paula Wagner for "first look" at all upcoming projects. This includes a bonus $3 million to cover overheads expenses.

Ocean Symphony Starring Jack Black

Provided By:shiftingbaselines
Jack Black stars as the symphony conductor in this hilarious public service announcement about the slow degradation of our oceans. Also starring Madeleine Stowe, Henry Winkler, Tom Arnold, Unforgiven's Saul Rubinek and Dave Foley.

KIDMAN SLAMS JOLIE! SHE CALLS HER CHARITY WORK, A DEFLECT FROM HER ADULTERY.

Academy Award winner & Tomb Raider, Angelina Jolie has made a new enemy, Oscar winner Nicole Kidman who call her work a publicity stunt to deflect personal criticism (the Brangelina scandal) and to elevate her work as “any better than a nurse working in a hospital, but she's getting the publicity for her contribution."

Kidman, has her herself been made a good will ambassador (like Jolie) and is going to India. Jolie has used her role to give monies to developing countries, including donating the cash from the photos of her baby 'shovel'” (with Pitt) to UNICEF.

"I have a friend who is a
doctor and every year he works in Africa for two months for no money,” said The Others actress. She just wants equal public billing for those doing the real work.

Correction: According to E! News, the main source for this story-an Irish Newspaper that claimed the quotes in this tale, now admit they made them up. We here at Data Hard apologize for any harm to anyone reading or attacked by this story, especially Kidman and Jolie. Angie, I'm Sorry.

CELEBRITY HOMOPHOBIA- DAVID SPADE: HOMOPHOBIC ASSHOLE.

Adam Sandler’s little bitch, David Spade was at commercial shoot for IBM computers. This was done with a Hollywood past and present feel-with all the archetypes of all the big stars. The smug comic was doing a silent cameo as a mean, arrogant star being driven around on a golf cart.

However, back stage he was stalking around his tiny cell phone- attacking his cast and crew mates at the Universal Studios stage by stating, "It's pretty gay around here.”



Worse, he would only say this when certain people passed by- so he could cowardly attacks them while making it seem like conversation. Then, as the commercial was winding down- he then said to longtime director Joe Pytka “What about Hershey(TM) over there” by attacking an unidentifiable crew person (he was mistaking for an actor) as which his way of attacking a black person as gay (Her/She {phonetic} )and using the dark chocolate of the product- emphasizing the black angle.)

This was despite the fact that this person was 1) NOT GAY!! 2) He and Spade hadn't spoken to each other that day and 3) DID NOT know each other at all. Plus, Spade was dressed as Vegas-like drug dealer with bad Fu-Man Chu beard.

When the other actors heard Spade speak- they claimed to hear him attacking his friend and meal ticket, Click star Adam Sander based on his bad acting and going after his manhood based on his role in the awful…ly successful remake, The Longest Yard.

This is a terrible display by a public figure with the emotional growth of E from Entourage. Vincent Chase cancelled a potential meeting with Spade ,to cameo in his next movie.

Comedy Central should fire the longtime loser (on that Hollywood program) & replace him with actually funny comics like Arsenio Hall, Sarah Silverman, or Jay Mohr. At the very least these sponsors in particular, should END all ties with his show until massive, multiple APOLOGIES (a la Mel Gibson) are issued to ALL parties with NO comedic tendencies whatsoever.