OSCAR STORIES: SAM L. JACKSON & DUSTIN HOFFMAN.EXCLUSIVE!

A Latino security guard, was impressed by an old joke, done by the Outbreak star. After finding, a lot of metal objects (a myriad of change and keys,) that charming thespian- began throwing his jacket on the table, in mock anger. Then, he begins to unzip his pants.The old security pro- begins to lose it, with laughter.The other guards applauded the Marathon Man, who reclaims his items and refastens his pants.

The guard was less impressed, with both Oscar host Seth McFarland and Samuel L. Jackson. He thought they dressed, "like hobos." He said Jackson was "dressed in a Gilligan hat" and a dirty blue track suit and had a "bad attitude" to boot.

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OSCAR STORIES- RUSSELL CROWE (EXCLUSIVE)

Our rep strolls up his friend, Dawn.They are both backstage of Dolby Theatre ,at the Academy Awards. Dawn is giddy and claims that Liam Neeson just passed by her,going into a realistic grass maze- that escaped the climax of The Shinning.

The two friends talk about how cool, that old action star still is, for 10 minutes. They discuss how awesome the Taken movies were, How he "trained" Batman and his semi-godly turn in Clash of the Titans.

The American Gangster star appears and our rep seems to be confused,not seeing the first Darkman.Crowe stuns them both by revealing...

Russell Crowe: I am NOT Liam Neeson.I'm Russell Crowe. I heard every thing you guys said- behind that maze there.

The two shocked, by the celebrity eavesdropper's statement.They are silent, wondering what to say to the acting Gladiator.

RC: You know, From A Beautiful Mind.

Our rep agrees with a knowing head nod.Dawn continues with her confusion,as she's never seen that film.

Crowe just smiles,looks at his expensive watch and said....

RC: Well, back to the salt mines.

Our rep, gets just enough courage to make a lame joke. He wished "Mr Crowe" to "Have a G'Day!"

The actor stops at the door,to mumble something...Assholish and continues to the main stage.

Oscar Stories: Wolfgang Puck- EXCLUSIVE

A kindly old man is walking toward the public restroom. A security guard realizes, he is without his credentials. So, when the Puck is questioned about it...

Wolfgang Puck: C'mon, You're kidding right. I'm.....

He stops when he realizes: he's being a self important asshole and gets his pass.About three minutes later, Puck returns and flashes his badge. The guard apologizes for doing his job, and thanks for finally complying.

A few hours later, after the guard goes off duty-Puck brazenly sneaks off to the loo again,without his pass.

He does donate, left over food from the Governor's ball to charities.So don't judge him, too harshly. Still, he gives no food to the security professionals, who are paid to take a bullet for him and all celebrities at the event. It's a shame,Wolfie.

OSCAR STORIES: ANGELINA JOLIE

A stunningly beautifully lady- with an excellent body, and air of arrogant class, passes by our rep.

Angelina Jolie: Hi.

Our rep is too stunned by her beauty, to respond.

AJ: I'm Angelina Jolie...Silly.

Our rep watches her perfect ass,as she walks away. Another customer- at the Red Carpet Awards walk area- at the Oscars.She asks her for her autograph and she said...

AJ: Sorry. I don't have that kind of time.

The Tomb Raider star, then quickly got the hell outta there.Perhaps,she went home to parent her kids or pleasure Brad Pitt.

CELEBRITY Q AND A : OSCAR HOST SETH MCFARLAND

The Family Guy creator dressed in casual clothes,has two backpacks in each arm and a Tuxedo over his shoulder.

Seth M: Can you hit the elevator for me?

Our rep does so.

Seth M: Thanks.

He gets in and throws the bags to the floor and hangs the tux over them. He hits his next floor and the doors close.

OSCAR STORIES: BARBRA STREISAND.EXCLUSIVE!

(NEW SEGMENT.)

Barbara S. glides off the elevator- looking lovely and moving quickly, for a 70 year old woman. For some reason, she looks at our rep.

Barbra Streisand: Oh No!

Our rep is wondering why she said that. Then,she rushes the craft service table. She looks back at our rep.

BS: Oh No! (pauses) BAGELS AND KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUTS! She begins examining the bagels, like a child who has never seen them before.

We all laugh, including her escorts.Now, that our rep sees about what she was referring. Things get weird.She looks at our rep and said...

 BS: (curious look)  You know, I have a ring. Let's fight, because I'm feeling horny...

The security escort tells Babs, they're pressed for time and must go. We all try to hide all embarrassed smirks. She looks back at our rep and declares....

BS: We'll talk later.

She puts her arms around, a surprisingly tall Asian lady brunette- with black boots. As they walk off, Babs begins girl talking,as mix as a mother and a old friend. Our rep is just astonished at what force of nature- this Fockin' lady,still is.

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