QUICKIE MOVIE REVIEWS.

Everyone's Hero: I walked into the wrong cineaplex, or I wouldn't even have bother with this pre-cool Disney Channel crap. The little boy was ok, for a kid with no personality. The talking bat and ball might could have been more entertaining instead of just annoying. Assholish Robin Williams generates what few real laughs are in this movie (as the key villain) and the talking ball (voiced by Mel Gibson's nemesis Rob Reiner, doing his best Billy Crystal impression (and succeeding at times.)

Being honest about the homeless situation (then and now) and Negro League ball with the little black girl, was truly interesting without turning it into a history lesson. William H. Macy is wasted as the villain's stooge and the voice of Darling is just bitchingly repellent as Babe's Ruth legendary bat. Plus, shouldn't the guy voice the long fallic object and the chick voice the tiny,breast-like circular ball?
Score: Ensign



The Protector:

The action was fantastic, if at times it had nothing to do with the story. Like Jet Li and Bruce Li before him, Tony Jaa project his presence & emotions well on-screen when generally not killing people. But, lacks Jackie Chan humanity and clearly need to get a sense of humor about the absurdity of his situatuation. Xing Jing, as the twisted feminist queen-pin of crime Rose is the real find here. She displays the type of talents to get to the top of female Asian actress royalty (Lucy Lui, and Kelly Hu.) Also, her command of the language is clearly superior to other foreign Asian actresses her field (Ziyi Zhang [who speaks English well now, but very slowly]and retarded-neo racist/garbled portrayal by Gong Li [Miami Vice.])It would have been nice, if Jaa looked at the hot mud wrestling girl who helped him, liked he looked at his kidnapped elephants in this flick though.
Score:Lt.






Movie Rating Legend-

Ensign- Rookie
Lt.- Decent/O.K.
Lt. Commander-Very Good
Commander- Great
Captain- Excellent
Admiral- Spectacular


Catch Up Reviews:

Fast & Furious Tokyo Drift- Lt.
My Super Ex-Girlfriend-Lt. Cmr.