REAL NEWS- RACIST STEVE BANNON KISSES PRES. TRUMP ASS,AFTER HE WRITES TELL ALL BOOK ON YEAR 1 OF HIS PRESIDENCY.

TV PRODUCER SHONDRA RIMES CONFIRMS: KATHERINE "HYDRA" HEIGL,YOU...ARE AN "ASSHOLE."

OSCAR STORIES: SAM L. JACKSON & DUSTIN HOFFMAN.EXCLUSIVE!

A Latino security guard, was impressed by an old joke, done by the Outbreak star. After finding, a lot of metal objects (a myriad of change and keys,) that charming thespian- began throwing his jacket on the table, in mock anger. Then, he begins to unzip his pants.The old security pro- begins to lose it, with laughter.The other guards applauded the Marathon Man, who reclaims his items and refastens his pants.

The guard was less impressed, with both Oscar host Seth McFarland and Samuel L. Jackson. He thought they dressed, "like hobos." He said Jackson was "dressed in a Gilligan hat" and a dirty blue track suit and had a "bad attitude" to boot.

ZOE SALDANA JOINS JJ ABAMS- IN BETRYING STAR TREK FOR STAR WARS.

LILO ATTACKED BY GOP SCUMBAG.