DATA HARD

Thursday, January 01, 2009

NEW SEGMENT!

CELEBRITY HOMOPHOBIA: JUDY REYES

EXCLUSIVE!!
A security guard worked the New Years Night party, at the Wiltern Theater. He noticed the arrogant Scrubs star- walking about in her cocktail dress, not as sexy or as noticeable, as half the sluttier dressed woman there. One of the girls which was there, was giving him her phone number ( a young Teri Hatcher type,) when her boyfriend intervened and took her home.

Then, while he was sat near the Ladies bathroom on a bench (on his break.) Reyes passed by him- with two equally bigoted white girlfriends (one blond and one red haired.) They began making faces and comments- as to how normal he was, because Reyes thought he was gay. The red haired girl remarked (since he started listening,) "me...too," and they all crept into the bathroom. After a few minutes, one girl (allegedly Reyes, but most likely the blond, then extended the bullying with this:

"Some....Boy (secondary slur for blacks) was looking at me like he wanted me, when we all know he's gay." They continued (as apparently all gay bullies do) that he "should just come out of the closet (to justify their hate speech and gaydar) and "join [them] in the [Ladies] bathroom where [he] belongs."

After they left, they all seemed stunned the he and other party guests listening-who looked at them- with surprise and contempt. They all walked to the top of the stairs, after choosing to leave individually. Once they did, Reyes then said sheepishly, "I...still think, you're gay!" Finally, they all laughed and pranced themselves up the stairs.

The next day (near Beverly Hills,) apparently Reyes had stalked the guard down, with a weirdly interested look on her face. She was talking on the phone and spoke quietly, other that to call him a "He-bitch" over the phone. The guard simply declared the confused hate monger, "A fucking cunt" and went about his business. Reyes (without apology or explanation) left the area- several minutes later.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

CAN SENSITIVE WIMP MICHEAL CERA, BE A BIG SCREEN GILLIGAN?

The creator of the popular, idiotic, sitcom that refuses to die-
Sherwood Schwartz,plus his son Lloyd Schwartz have inked deal to
make a silver screen version of Gilligan’s Island.

"I loved Gilligan’s Island as a kid, and am not against the idea of a re-imagining of the series… But it seems to me that LOST is our generation’s version
of the 1960’s television series, and anything closer to the source material would
just be too silly (somewhat like John Goodman's Flintstones movie.)

Schwartz warned the audience of his plan- at the Beverly Hills induction ceremony of
Television Academy’s Hall of Fame. He proclaimed to TV
Guide "that he wants Michael Cera to play Gilligan and Beyonce Knowles
to play Ginger."