ABIGAIL WHISTLER A LIAR!? JESSICA BIEL FLIPS BIRD TO PARADISE ISLAND.

The Illusionist beauty has bolted from the Justice League project. Sources close to her agent cite that she didn't like locking up her life--for a three movie deal via the X Men/Spider Man clause & perhaps noted the fans' reaction to her possible casting, that may have angered her.

Therefore, the usual suspects return to the short list: Cameron Diaz, Demi Moore, plus audtioning You Tube actressses, and Angel alum Charisma Carpenter.

JORJA FOX LEAVING LAS VEGAS!
-Quits #1 Crime Drama, due bad contract talks this summer.

From dixiechik & Media Life Magazine:

"Jorja Fox, who has played Sara Sidle on "CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation" since it first aired in 2000, is leaving the show after
this season's seventh episode in November. Fox's departure comes after a
less-than-promising stretch of negotiations, though her character did
survive last season’s cliffhanger on last week’s season opener."

IS JESSICA BIEL THE NEXT WONDER WOMAN?



The Blade: Trinity star is in final negotiations to star as the seminal, perfect amazon in the upcoming Justice League (AKA The Super-Friends) film.

It was rumored that Cameron Diaz--was also a finalist for the part. She may even had a screen test done. Remember when Diaz went brunette some time ago,and displayed a sexy, exotic look to her (not unlike Diana Prince.)

Diaz may have bolted when she learned, she had to share screen time with other heroes--instead of starring in her own WW movie. This opened the door for Biel, who also has a great body and is already trained in stunt and marital art work.

The Ex 7th Heaven beauty, may have been doing some stealth auditing too. In the successful, but critically maligned I Now Pronounce You- Chuck and Larry she was dressed in a cat woman (Michelle Pfeiffer era)outfit and the infamous scene where she's walking around in power boots and a sweaty bikini (B4 letting Adam Sandler touch her boobs.)

Warner Bros. refused to confirmed this, until all casting options were exhausted. This included all the male hero roles, as current stars of the Batman Begins and Superman Returns tent-pole films (Chrtistian Bale & Brandon Routh respectively) will not reprise their roles here.

ABC-TV REVERSES ITSELF!! IT WILL BRING BACK CYNTHIA WATROS 4 MORE LOST.

Lost executive producer Carlton Cuse proclaimed that- Hurley's deceased true love will return, to fill in the missing pieces of her role and her loving time with the big lotto winner.

"We could not be more pleased. Cynthia is a smart and engaging actor, and [executive producer] Damon [Lindelof] and I have some very cool parts of her story left to tell," stated Cuse.

No word on whether violent bi-sexual, Michelle Rodriguez (hated L.A. cop Ana-Lucia Cortez) would return.

Off-Topic: Does anyone else think Evangeline Lilly dropped a dime on Rodriguez and Watros that night they got drunk....when she realized they were getting all her press and magazine covers(that year??)Please comment, if u will.

THE JUICE IS FORMALLY CHARGED IN LAS VEGAS.

SARAH SILVERMAN EATS CHEESE (IN A BIKINI)WITH JEFF GARLIN FOR CARRIE KEEGAN.

NEW SEGMENT-
POPCORN STORIES:

Kate Winslet: Titanic Whinnier
EXCLUSIVE!


The Titanic assed star, who is Lilliputian in height- arrogantly,went into a local LA,CA theatre.She acted like a typical, self-entitled British bitch.

Her boyfriend tried to order for the both of them. She began constantly complaining about everything and everyone around. She's mad that she hasn't had a true hit,since art house fave, Eternal Sunshine...with Jim Carrey, 3 years ago. Everyone cringed,after about three minutes of ranting,finally went to the upstairs restroom to finished getting pissed apparently.

While upstairs she exited the bathroom, a theatre employee went by and she attacked him for being allegedly being gay, "F*&^ing poofter" (British slang for gay.)The alleged cunt, was wrong and had no evidence--to support such a charge.

So, their gay manager responded a few weeks later--with the straight owners agreeing and decided to remove her totally, underselling DVD, Little Children. The disc has been selling at or near zero, for the past six months now.

THE ALL NEW BIONIC WOMAN FIRES PRODUCER.DOES THIS BODE WELL FOR THE ALIAS STYLE RE-MAKE OF THE SERIES?

Show runner David Eick, has fired producer and writer Glen Morgan (previously of the X Files) "effective immediately" over "creative differences." Eick helps co-produce the critically acclaimed and very adult hit- Battlestar Galactica on the Sci-FI network. He will assume Morgan's duties and continue "all responsibility for day-to-day production of the series."

This news led to speculation that, newcomer Michelle Ryan's new show would be cancelled. Apparently, under Morgan- the show went dangerously close to Painkiller Jane type stories (little regard for the main plot, too many villains of the weeks, little personality for sub-characters;etc.) A NBC PR rep claimed this "isn't the case."

"Industry insiders" claim the series will take a break, since its fifth episode is done "in order to give the writers a chance to focus on refining the show's directions.

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 2 NUDE SCANDAL!!

The Bourne Ultimatum

First Contact: Captain
Score: Captain

The excellent, mind-blowing and highly smart spy trilogy culminates,as Jason B. finally gets insight into the amnesia based terminator that he is today.

Matt Damon minimalist style- continues to power the search of self discovery, no matter how many bodies pile up. From exciting cat and mouse chases from London to Tangiers, and lastly finishing in New York, Director Paul Greengrass gets maximum benefit form all his assets- in answering the comely killer's biggest question, "Who the hell am I?"

The best sequence involved- a fisticuffs spectacular between Joey Ansah and Damon close quarters- through a crummy apartment. At one point, when Jason is real danger of being killed...it is Nicki Parsons!? (Julia Styles) that tags herself into the proverbial ring and saves him. She applied, a well executed fish hook maneuver and pries "Desh" of the violent amnesiac.

Sadly, this costs her as the assassin lights her up with a viscous punch and painful kicks. Luckily, Jason finishes the scumbag off and for the first time ever, set off silent sparks in the strangely, developing chemistry between the two.

David Strathairn, is disgustingly mean (& a little thick headed) as main baddie. In the end, he lacks Brain Cox's articulate sliminess. Joan Allen shines, as Agent Pam Landy looking to let Jason do all the dirty work to help her destroy "Blackbriar" (the true power behind Treadstone.)Styles gives a performance as nuanced, manipulative and purposelessly vague, as Damon's work.

I guess it is official,Bourne's Ultimatum by Moby is the official James Bond theme (if you will) of the series. John Powell's mood music continues to score, but is starting to sound a little long in the tooth now.

NGTV's CARRIE KEAGEN IN BED WITH RAPPER CHINGY.

FAITH GIVEN A LA CARTE DEAL AT FOX
-The Tru Caller will pick of any Fox show produced that seems seems comfortable or perfect for her.

FROM SCI-FI WIRE.COM

Buffy, the Vampire Slayer alumna Eliza Dushku (Faith) will star in a new project for the FOX network.

She last starred in the noble, but failed Tru Calling, "about a young morgue attendant who finds herself reliving days. Dushku most recently starred in the Fox pilot Nurses."

The network is allowing "integration (of) Dushku into the development process, giving her a chance to familiarize herself with (any or all) writers who have deals at 20th."

The network said "they were impressed by Dushku's versatility, given the actor's experience in comedy" (Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Bring It On), "action and drama" (Buffy, True Lies.)

RUSH HOUR 3

First Contact: Lt. Commander
Final Score: Lieutenant

The best moment in the film is when Inspector John (1st name rarely used in the series) Lee and Detective James Carter both use their famous "You go..I go" routine to punch out a sadistic French cop (Roman Polanski) for...touching underage girls or violating their proctological civil rights? Either way, it didn't matter as the duo dances off into the distance- about as happy all this crap is over,as we are?

Laking most of the comedy and even tension of the first two films (2 in particular,) the comfort levels between Chan and Tucker pretty much saves the film. The plot for the first real time IS just an excuse for the action.

Chan's stunts work well, but in 3 he seems to more running from adversaries (including Ziyi Zhang's "mom" (?) as an aging, triad ninja bitch) and lucking out in dispatching them, than full out fighting- as say in the Shanghai Noon/Knights movies.

Also, the protecting of an adoptive brother gone bad, just doesn't hold the same weight as the excellent John Lone trying to launder $500 billion & itching to send Lee to spiritually reunite with his dad,that he killed.

Tucker, while still funny as hell- is wearing out his welcome. His humor is quite offensive at times. Still, he gets gets off a good Who's on First joke piece & some pro-American jokes with scene stealer, Yvan Attal as a local cabbie.

Still, the object of affection in this one a lovely, but bald French flash-dancer (Noemie Lenoir) lacks that weird chemistry found with Elizabeth Pena (Are they or Aren't they not- doing it) or the great,but arrogantly evil Ziyi Zhang (They both like each other, but are divided by good and evil-a comical forerunner to infamous Live Free or Die Hard mano-a-mujer battle.)

In addition, the presence of the sultry Roselyn Sanchez, working her dangerous charms over a game Chan is sorely missed in this flick.

Director Brett Ratner's eye is on target for this one. However, he truly lacks the detail or fun- he showed on his first two epics. Also, it would be nice if the camera didn't turn away (like it was ashamed ) when the bad guys get their "final" comeuppance.

VERONICA MARS SCREWS FBI SPIN-OFF & LOST TO BECOME PART TIME MEMBER ON HEROES:

Kristen Bell will be a headline cast member on NBC's Heroes, during a limited number of episodes. The non-violent sleuth "was being sought for several TV gigs, including a part on ABC's Lost."

She will appear in October, playing Elle. A "sexy, mysterious young lady who has ties to the supposed death of Peter (Milo Ventimiglia), the past of H.R.G. (Jack Coleman) and the future of Claire (Hayden Panettiere)." Early On, the audience will witness her engage in "a serious crime, although it's unclear whether she's" a hero or villain (remember Candide of last season.) Also, tight wraps are being kept on whether the former good girl will have a power or not.

K. Bell will lead the "Weinstein Co.'s upcoming Star Wars-themed movie Fanboys. (NBC is owned by NBC Universal, which also owns SCIFI.COM.)"

THE SIMPSONS MOVIE..."EXCELLENT!!"

First Contact: Captain
Score: Commander

"Hi. I'm Tom Hanks. If you see me on the street,please...just leave me be. Thank You," states the two time Oscar winning comic actor, in this fine translation- of the smug, yet still funny TV show to the silver screen.

While the film lacks the sleazily bold, in-your-face irreverence of Beavis & Butthead Do America or The infamous South Park movie, the film more than makes up for that, with intelligent wit and charm personified through the 2D bug-eyed "nuclear" family.

The only problems are some of the jokes, fall noticeably flat. The director either should have cut them- in order to punch-up the strong, pro-liberal, pro-environment angle and self sacrifice at the climax...of Springfield- trapped in huge snow globe, about to be eradicated by a time bomb.A truly long story, that you will have to see for yourself.

All of the voice acting rules hard, though it would have been nice- if the show's producers opened up its cast. To allow more minority actors, to join the madness and make guest cameos, along with the principles. Since with money being raked in by the flick, this is a mistake that can be easily fixed by using Maggie's first (or second-for true fans) word "...SEQUEL!"

BURN NOTICE RECEIVES A SAVING GRACE.

20th Century Fox announced, that its series Burn Notice and Saving Grace have been renewed by their respective cable networks, USA and TNT.

The sneaky,cool spy comedy- starring Jeffery Donavon, cult-movie icon Bruce Campbell and violently, sexy Gabrielle Anwar gets a 13 show second season order. Saving Grace, is cable's #2 show- airing after red hot Kyra Sedgwick starer...The Closer. Holly Hunter's religious crime drama gets get a whopping 15 show order for its next cycle of show. Grace has retained almost 90% of Closer's audience.

TALK TO ME, SHOWS SOUL OF DON CHEADLE'S PETEY GREEN.
-Martin Sheen & Chiwetel Ejiofor almost steals show from Cheadle's P-Town



First Contact: Admiral
Score Rank: Captain

All of the performances are both very real and 3-D, as the actors provide their characterisations warts and all. Director Kasi Lemons (Eve's Bayou) realistically bring one into the world of the D.J. superstar of of the D.C. area- after it became a Chocolate City (predominately African American.)

Cheadle (Crash) will easily get an Oscar nomination, as will Ejiolr (Serenity)for playing business man ying to Cheadle's truth above all else yang.

Taraji P. Henson provides the sexy heart of the piece, as P-Town's expertly sexy and well-endowed lover, who as likely to attack him with a glass bottle (after he cheats on her) as have a loving three way with him (with another lady) as a reward for Green being sober for six months.

Martin Sheen as both Dewey's and Petey's boss, provide great weight and brevity in his role. When a certain historic black figure dies, he realistically appears more broken hearted than his black counterparts- which stunned them that he cared that much, about their hero.

The film focuses on Green's rise from a con (with D.J. experience) to being the first black popular voice of his medium. Ejiofor's quiet,yet resourceful Dewey Hughes (later-owner of a powerful radio network and the emerging TV One cable channel) takes him under his wing: leading to comedy clubs and his own cult hit late night talk show.

Green's finest hour, was ending the riots that broke out in D.C.- when Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated. Even there, He and Hughes save a white man from an angry mob. This leads to an appearance on the Johnny Carson show (with Forrest Gump like real footage (of Carson) at a key moment,) where if Green does well, "the world is yours" claims Hughes.

The film's message is expending your horizons, while being true to one's self. Also, that change and compromise can be almost impossible tasks.

"Well, That's all we got and there aint no more. My time is tight and that's the end of the show," said Petey- as he would end his telecasts.Check out Talk To Me, you will not be disappointed in this near perfect work- about a man filed with imperfections, that was barley but successfully able to beat them.

SPY CHASER JOAN ALLEN TO HUNT DOWN TYRESE GIBSON & JASON STATHAM (LOHAN STYLE) IN REMAKE.

The Bourne Ultimatum's Joan Allen will be the main villain in the Death Race 2000 remake. Tyrese Gibson shall channel his best Sly Stallone for Machine Gun Joe and The Transporter himself Jason Statham is the star of the violently, brutal race. The key to winning is for drivers to mow down spectators and each other for points.Director Paul W.S. Anderson said shooting will began late next month.

PARIS HILTON'S $59 MILLION INHERITANCE IS LOST,AS IS HER TV SHOW ON THE E! CHANNEL.

Hilton's grandfather billionaire- William ‘Barron’ Hilton "is extremely embarrassed," on how Paris turned the family name into a sleazy joke, and has cut her and 11 other grandchildren (including Nicki Hilton) off from his funds. Writer Jerry Oppenheimer (House Of Hilton) surmised that the $2.4 billion fortune will go into the family's charity foundation because, "He doesn't want to leave unearned wealth to his family."

Then, E! confirmed that after five seasons, The Simple Life has been cancelled. The Fox years were considered idiotic fun. The cable based episodes never overcame the fact, that the two stars hated each other and it showed badly on-air. This was despite the producer's best efforts- to play up the heat of the conflict, between the two self-centered and occasionally bitchy stars.

KELLY HU: A IMPORTANT MESSAGE

HERE'S THE NEW STAR OF THE PRICE IS RIGHT...DREW CARAY.

SUMMER GLAU TO BE A GOOD FEMALE TERMINATOR ON FOX'S NEW SARAH CONNER CHRONICLES.

There was a You Tube clip, but it has been pulled at Warner Bros. insistence. She will use the signature line "Come with me, if U want to live," on 16 yr. old John Conner (Tom Dekker.)The show will largely ignore the existence of T3 (the "official" staring of the war, Kristina Loken's creepily bad acting;etc.) The show may use its own existence to eliminate all time line permutations of Sky Net, there-by making the need for the ill-fated Clarie Danes starer obsolete.

Still, the show will deal with interlocking fates of the Connors and the Terminators, as there destinies both seem inevitable (the Connors survive and save humanity triumphantly, despite all Sky Net's attempts- yet Sky Net survives when they've destroyed it a numerous times.)

SHIRI APPLEBY NOW LIVES TO LOVE & DIE (in LA, {CA}) PRIZZI'S HONOR STYLE ON USA NET.

The friendly, yet cold-bloodily, twisted tone of the show is that Roswell's pretty ice queen, is a smug one "with intimacy issues" who searches and finds her real dad (Tim Matheson) to help with her emotional resolve.

The problem is that he is a contract killer- quickly falling out favor with his contacts. Worse still, she joins him on the job and discovers a sadistic thrill and a high degree of success under her father's wing. Basically, the show is Mr & Mrs. Smith-Family Edition. The show will air in 2008 and will be produced by
Lorne Micheals Broadway Video TV for NBC-Universal . 12 episodes are planned at this time.

Director John McTiernan Confirms he will do DIE HARD 5 w/ Bruce Willis, and it will be the last!


Also, Maggie Q (Mai Lin) could return for a rematch of brutal brawling with John McClane, as her contract (as does the other two-fisted babe in DH4-Mary E. Winstead and good geek Justin Long (who were quite attracted to each other at the end of Live Free) forces a sequel appearance options. The Original Die Hard Director confirmed his potential involvement on British TV after talking with Willis after the "smash-mouth" PG-13 rated film opened well about two weeks ago internationally.

No word on the main villain- but no one is ruling a new member of Gruber family returning, to taunt liberal, god fearing folks and the resourceful, smart ass with a badge.

Also, Q's participation depends on whether Mai survived her Celebrity Death Match at the bottom of elevator shaft (a miracle if she does.)Still, others have predicted she play a twin sister hell bent on revenge or forced to help the cowboy cop this time. The fans are also gossiping about letting Long and Winstead alter egos couple in front of the long suffering cop-in the next film.

Did Cameron Diaz & Jessica Biel Secretly audition for Wonder Woman?

Diaz didn't turn herself into a exotic brunette for nothing. She may have been secretly offered the role and was screen testing her temporarily, "wonder"ful look for the role. No comment from Warner Bros films or Diaz's people on whether this was true.

Also, weird rumors came out a few weeks ago- that Jessica Biel was going to play Asian based character Chun Li, for the upcoming Street Fighter reboot.

This is following the disastrous '90s Jean Claude Van Damme edition. Those reports have turned out to be false, as Kelly Hu and The Big Hit's China Chow have emerged as the front runners there. But, this talk--put Biel back into the short list of potential amazon contenders.

BRUCE WILLIS & MAGGIE Q's LOVE FEST OF PAIN CONTINUES.

"There were a couple of weeks where from my hip to my ankle
I was black and blue. I got knocked out, I got some stitches, " said Bruce Willis in his controversial screen fight with Asian superstar Maggie Q in Live Free or Die Hard.

"The stuff I do with Maggie is just bananas," proclaimed Willis."You would think I would be able to kick that girl's ass but not so much. I caught a beating," said the formerly Unbreakable star.

"I hit her (with a laptop computer &) with the light switch. I had her light out, she got up right off the floor and came back after me, kicked me out a window," he continued. Then a look manly pride come over him- as he playfully looked at his co-star on the red carpet, at the London premiere of the film. Willis plainly stated "I'm thinking about going over there and picking a fight with her right now."

Q heard this, & continued their verbal sparring by revealing she was "too young" to witness the original R rated masterpiece with Alan Rickman."I watched it a few years after, I think I was eight," teased the martial arts mistress.

BRUCE WILLIS & MAGGIE Q GIVE NATION GOOD REASON TO LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD.
1st Contact: Admiral
Final Rank: Captain

This is easily the best of the die hard sequels, as the story is not highly relevant and likely,but the fact the domestic terrorists (the Tim Mc Veys of the world) would do this is heartbeat and skip out the country with our hard earned 401K dollars.

I just wish that Scream 2 co-killer Tim (weird pattern developing) Olyphant did the role with his usual slickly cool swagger. Instead of the lamely,uninspiring way to do his(especially to cause this level of mayhem)geek patriot-Tom Gabriel driven to destroy the nation, in order to possible save it and net him and his girlfriend over $100 billion. Plus, his grey hair at 39 feels too much of Tom Cruise in Collateral.

Maggie Q reminds me of an obscure proverb about being soft as the rain,but painfully hard as a flood. This is why her performance so overshadowed that of her boyfriend and perhaps she should have been the lead bad guy. Once John McClaine "shoves a SUV up her ass" the bad guys lose personality and competence altogether.

Her beauty and fighting comes off as an Asian Jennifer Garner on the wrong side of the battle, and has a weird anti-chemistry with Willis. The sleazy, vicious nature of their underground prize fight- where both combatants are getting off on the sexualized violence (Particularly Bruce's McClaine!-This got a PG-13 rating!?)After losing the first round of kickboxing with her, he gets a sadistic Ike Turner look in eyes and pulverized the dangerously calm, but determined fighting beauty.

Then he picks her up like a wrestler and bloody rips out her hair-body slamming her against a metal bookcase, and then laughs about likes its funny. After she recovers, he learns to never over ugly up a girl in a fistfight and gets kicked through plate glass window almost to his death two and 1/2 stories down. That's when John finds that SUV and runs down Mai (Q) & drives them both through more glass into the elevator shaft where their painful dating ritual continues,with someone about to fall to their death.

After they trade more blows, he finally KOs Mai and climbs out the truck, in time to see her drop to her crushing, fiery death and then laughs heartily that he killed a girl, albeit a tough one. Then, Willis goes into Sarah Silverman territory stopping just shorting of making racial epitaphs while playing up the fact she's a "Asian hooker bitch" and admitting to Gabriel (Tim O) his "ninja chick" was defiantly the best of "1-800 Henchman" service.

The films other action set pieces are quite good, but nothing too original. Still, the centerpiece of the action, which keeps this old-school is what will John say after he gorily dispatches another bad guy (The best "I'll send a doctor for ya" and just walks away as the Euro trash dies ten seconds later.)He does have decent interplay which his charge, the uber-geek, tech genius played by Justin Long (Dodge ball & PC V. Mac ads.)

The film can't help but lapse into utter insanity- because once the actions starts the plot holes get larger- without somehow destroying the credibility built up- in the movie. A chase down a tunnel where Gabriel has sent cars in both directions, leading to crash a cop car into a killer helicopter was ballsy genius.

The thing is almost destroys the enjoyment level is the fact that- John MC. this time...is quite creepy this time around. As stated, the REAL climax (Q. V. Willis)is exhilarating to watch, but is quite creepy considering the rating given. You feel John is working out what he really like to do to Holly for leaving him (they divorced six years ago.) Plus, one can practically sense his orgasmic fever during his face-off with Mai Lin (Also, that fact that Mai refuses to talk to him during the battle while he taunts her constantly {Muhammad Ali style}-relates to the state of mind of the charaters quite well.) If the film was better written it could have ended there.If there is a fifth one, it would cool and ironic if they gave John his fantasy-a hot martial artist woman that can be his sidekick in the final chapter. Someone call Kelly Hu or Lucy Lui!

McClaine doesn't help himself by stalking his daughter at college campus early on, when its apparent she quite sexually active and can take care of herself. It gives the iconic, reluctant hero a Chris Benoit(murder-suicide) vibe that takes away from his rooting factor at key moments.

Still if you can get past that, the lapse in logic and many asides to recent action films in past 15 years or so, with True Lies racing to the forefront a lot in this. It's perfect popcorn movie for this summer, if you're adult.

Director Len Wiseman (the Underworld series)seems very professional and dedicated during the battles, but gave Hard too much of vanilla presence when there's no action on the screen.

Finally, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Kevin Smith make the most of parts without as being annoying as they could have been. One thing- at one point in the main climax Lucy McClain disarms the bad guys gun the same way Mai took apart John's gun. Did they go to the same advance, self-defense course for babes?

DON'T FORGET THE LYRICS MC SINGS THE TUNE OF DIVORCE.

Wayne Brady is filing against, his one-time better half- Mandie last Friday. They've been unionized for seven years, & share a four year old daughter called Malie, which in Hawaiian symbolizes the leaf found in most flower leis, departing the plane at the airports.

Both have requested to pay their own legal bills, but for the sake of tradition- the wife is asking for spousal support from the signing game show host's coffers.Brady's new prime-time, reality game commences July 11Th at 9:30PM ET/8:30 Central.

FOR THOSE THAT GIVE A F&^%: PARIS IS FREE...2B A SLUT AGAIN.

CANDICE OF HEROES LEAVES SHOW TO HELP REAPER ON CW NET.

Missy Peregrym's alter ego-who was killed at the end of a brutal fistfight with "Jessica"(Ali Larter) by taking an ultra punch to the bridge of her nose (crushing her brain instantly) will be rewarded- with a new life on the dark upstart rip-off of Ghost Rider (hopefully without the cheesiness this time.)

She replaced thespian Nikki Reed from the pilot and will portray the love stuck sidekick of "Satan's bounty hunter" (Bret Harrison.) Twin Peaks alum Ray Wise is the prince of darkness for this show.

ADAM SESLER'S STRAIGHT-NESS IS A...FIVE OUT OF 5!!

STOP,EXCLUSIVE TIME!

The male half of the faux-evil, sarcastic duo on G4TV's top rated comedy/game review series, was caught on date with a woman. Homophobic, Tom Cruise like charges from have plagued the popular X-Play host for some time now (by Adam's own mentioning ON THE SHOW FOR YEARS- Including the show's own message boards occasionally.)

The Sess took his docile, Asian princess (apparently named Amber)- to a showing of the cult hit, art house film, Black Sheep at a Santa Monica,CA movie theatre-near the beach. He shared popcorn with his date and bought them each a large Fuji water and payed almost $15 on his credit card.

As usual, the host had to reassure fans that in fact "{Morgan Webb} was a gamer" but added she's "great to work with." Then, the TV star disappeared into the theatre with his lady love. When the theatre's manager witnessed this, he stated with lame bitterness, "You know the film will be a hit, when some(obscure) cable TV host shows up."

EDDIE MURPHY IS SCARY SPICE'S BABY'S DADDY AFTER ALL.

The Oscar nominated comic submitted to blood test in Early June and the results have come back...positive. Sherman Klump and Scary Spice (Melanie Brown) dated for six months and then mysteriously broke up. Then, when Alex Foley went on a dutch talk show, the host congratulated Murphy on his new baby with her and Norbit went berserk.

Since the results are in, Brown expects an apology and for Murphy to own up to his responsibilities. She stated that "this isn't about the money, it's about Angel (A.Iris Murphy Brown) knowing for sure who her dad is." It's been inferred that Scary is worth $10 million on her own, but Eddie was the billionaire box office king of the '80s- is looking to protect his vast mega million dollar portfolio.

MRS. SMITH: BEHIND HER MIGHTY 'EYE'.

WILL SUPERGIRL HELP FINALLY GROW CLARK UP TO SUPERMAN STATUS ON SMALLVILLE.

Cousin Kara will be used to fill in info gaps in the computerized Jor-El (co-programmed by General Zod!) that has plague the show harshly since season 2. She will be able to fly and have full powers (she'll do things Clark hasn't done yet.)

Apparently, she was sent to Earth about the same time Kent(Tom Welling)was. However, she was trapped in space and in suspended animation for 16 years. Also, her presence may finally lead Clark accepting his destiny as Superman and helping defeat his Bizarro version.

If her character is popular...a spin-off will launch next fall.

PARIS HILTON'S 1ST SUNDAY VISITORS BEHIND BARS- MAY HAVE JUMPED THE LINE, FROM OTHER NORMAL VISITING FAMILIES.

Paris Hilton's sister Nicky and former lover Stavros Niarchos may have "cut" in line to see the hysterical heiresses/party girl. She's housed at the mental ward at Twin Towers jail after her spectacularly, embarrassing, rearrest on federal TV on Friday.

Steve Whitmore, the L.A. County Sheriff spokesman denied the two won more special treatment. They came despite a crush of photographers, "filled out visitation forms, and spent a half-hour upstairs before leaving without talking to reporters." She could leave prison in 15 days assuming Paris claims "good behavior" within the ward's confines.

"We don't care about no Paris Hilton!," exclaimed an unknown mother. "We're here for our families." Another visitor & relative to this person followed with, "Why did they get to go up first, that's what I want to know?"

Nicky Hilton, Niarchos, Hilton's paramour Dave Katzenberg are the first to see the reality star who will have to finish her currently 23 night stint in the grey bar hotel, for destroying her probation agreement with her alcohol infused driving case & using a suspended license to drive.

Rumors persist that the Hilton's mom plan to take to task L.A. prosecutor Rocky Del Gado, as well as the Republican Superior Court Judge Michael Sauer buy suing the hell out of the city for selective prosecution for overly targeting celebs in this cases.

ISAIAH WASHINGTON IS FLAMINGLY FIRED FROM GREY'S ANATOMY.

The Associated Press confirmed that the African-Amercian actor has been let go. This is due to his gay tirades at the beginning of the season that led to: cast mate T.R. Knight outing himself pre-maturely on Ellen, a donnybrook with Co-star Patrick Dempsey, and the awkward dealings with his most vocal critic- Knocked Up star Kathrine Hiegel (who's hit film finally gave her leverage in still on-going contract dispute.)

"I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore," Washington stated, quoting the famed media satire Network when ABC TV said that his contract option "was not renewed for next season."

He tried more acts than Don Imus to end the dispute: including therapy, meeting with Gay & ####### Alliance Against Defamation and other gay groups to apologize and those meetings birthed a PSA about words having power.

For now, the recovering bigot is "continuing his charity work in
Sierra Leone, which a DNA test showed to be his ancestral home, and work on
an independent movie."

LIV TYLER CONFIRMS HER DAD, STEVEN LEAVING AEROSMITH IS B.S.!!

A reporter asked if Tyler is cutting a solo album and he said yes. Naturally, this spread like wildfire and became Tyler leaving the greatest rock band in history (screw KISS!)

Plus, "a spy" insinuated that "they don't appreciate him." She also said "{He} is going to announce he's leaving Aerosmith soon because he can't take how the rest of the band is treating him."

Inside sources said, Tyler would never leave the musical unit,as it is even more his baby than his gorgeous, Hobbit fighting, daughter.The P.R. rep for Liv (filming the new Hulk origin movie with Ed Norton) stated, "Liv never said anything about her father leaving Aerosmith."

LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD MUSIC VIDEO!!

It tells the ballad of the entire quartet of films, with exclusive footage from 4. This includes John McClane driving a mack truck, while playing chicken with a jet fighter and a battle of the sexes fisticuffs match- between Bruce Willis and MI: 3 star Maggie Q (lead Henchwoman)!! Sorry, "still No Allen" (Hard 1's & Family Matters' lead Reggie Vel Johnson.)

LINDSAY LOHAN'S NEW PLAYER BOYFRIEND: CHEATS ON HER AT CLUB & GETS DUMPED BY HER, IN A CROWED LOBBY.

This is what happens when you date Euro-trash. Lohan publicly dumped British guy, Calum Best in loud spat at a hotel in New York. When she found a horde on female phone numbers on his person, began to rip his clothes apart while screaming obscenities.

Earlier, at a nightclub called Cipriani, the Brit bastard macked every girl in sight- when she left their table. Apparently, Lohan had been looking the other way with his cheating for awhile and he'd taken advantage of that the prior evening.

According to a rival website, Best called from his room- for the mini-bar to be restocked while he's half-naked with some unknown slut at 4AM. When room service arrived, he payed & tipped them with a stack of cash on his nightstand (like a mistress) claiming "It’s Lindsay’s money. I don’t care.”

SNOOP DOG INVESTIGATED BY MONK ON HIS FAMED CRIME DRAMEDY.

The modest rapper will play: a Suge Knight style, music kingpin called "Murderuss." His character might or might not have been killed in car bomb planted in a jet black limo.

The moment, captured on the Universal back lot- only got one take from multiple angles to get the explosion right. Everyone was given tiny ear plugs, when it went off and after the scene the crew applauded.

Then- about an hour later, the crew realized they had some explosives left and restaged the scene and blew up the charred limo again.

MILO TAKES ONE IN THE BRAIN- 4 NADIA AND HOPES OF STARRING IN NEW COP PILOT.

Annoying Tech geek Milo of 24, finally acted heroically and satisfied those annoyed by his presence- by dying a heroic death when CTU was raided by communist terrorists on the time's up thriller.

Actor Eric Balfour claims he asked to leave early- to finish a cop pilot that maybe picked up by CBS. Also, since 24's ratings are down significantly this season, due to repetitive story lines and odd story developments, So....

"Jack's going out in the field and they're moving locations. It's time for a new look and a change of scenery. That's another reason I thought Milo needed to get out of there."

Plus, the actor felt constrained by his A-holish nerd, & being sexually being double crossed in an emotional threesome by Chloe And Morris. "It didn't give me much room to show my colors," said Balfour.




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GIRLFIGHT'S MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ FIGHTS TO REMAIN STRAIGHT IN HOLLYWOOD

-Despite confirming gay relationship with Painkiller Jane's Kristina Loken, declares "I like men...REAL MEN anyway."

"I guess Curve magazine took it upon themselves, to out me on the premise of their own suspicions. " wrote the Fast/Furious star on her website finally responding to Loken's charges of hiding her sexually proclivaties in the Advocate's November '06 issue.

Apparently, her appearing on the cover of Curve magazine confirmed- to most across the Internet- that the Star was officially coming out of closet (T.R. Knight style.) After she realized- she was being pressed by her muscular lover, to do so. Loken proudly claims her bisexually, yet in the Advocate article did confirm any recent relationships with men.

"If I wanted people to know what I do with my vagina I would have released a sex video a long time ago. Yet I haven't done that," the video-game voice over queen remarked. She rightly deduces that "her sexuality is nobody's business" and wishes people would get off her ass about it. She should be allowed to get on with her life.

Rodriguez typed:

"Whatever, I'm not insulted, I have a big (gay) following, and for
whatever reasons they show me love. I'm never going to shun, disrespect or
neglect anybody who shows me genuine... love."

The BloodRayne co-star made it clear, about her anger about this charge-
"I will say this: To put words in some one's mouth and place people in categories affects them for sure, especially in this business. I don't know what the intent
behind the Curve magazine cover was. I wasn't informed of it."

The gay label could deal a destructive impact in her life and work. "There are certain things that can close doors between a celebrity and certain audiences... If I were Ellen [DeGeneres] I may get away with the 'I'm gay' level of exposure, but I'm not a comedian,....and I've only been in this business for seven years, not 20."

Note: Article was edited by Blogger- after the fact without warning. The L Word, scares them or the advertisers.

KATE BECKINSALE &
CHARLIZE THERON MAY STAR TOGETHER IN KILL BILL TYPE MOVIE.

The film, MOMENTUM!- has been mired in production hell since last year. Beckinsale will be "Rayven Graves...a psychotic ex girlfriend who is hell bent on domination and Charlize Theron is Katherine McNeil...a domesticated housewife who fights for her life when her husband is on the run from the law and trying to cross the country."

The main story is so huge (3+ hour running time) that like the Uma Thurman classic, the film fractured into two parts (instant sequel.) The Alpha story starts in Canada (not just filming it there and calling it the USA) and the Omega chapter finishes in Mexico.

Also, like the violent Tarrintino masterpiece- the tone shifts in the films. Part One: "The Thunder Rolls is" an "action/drama," while the finale ("Storm Front) is action/horror."

Sources claim the script is "very well done, but have" NOT seen "the shooting script," yet. They describe the flick as "a mix of Nick of Time, Speed, Trapped and True Romance..."(part 1 only.) The last chapter is still being revised.

Kate's interest seems serious, but is NOT locked yet. Meanwhile: Gina Gershon, Dina Meyer, Lara Flynn Boyle and even Drew Barrymore have joined the fight to steal the leads in the modern Themla & Louise retelling- from Beckinsale and the Oscar winner.

"THE GOOD, THE BAD, & THE DOMINATRIX," EX-O.C.-ER MELINDA CLARKE RETURNS TO CSI.

The CSI: Vegas team will investigate another death linked, to the classiest S&M madam in the Nevada. Grissom (Will Petersen) and Co. will be tracking down clues at a Wild West theme park where Lady Heather (Clarke) is now working.

This is after she nearly whipped to death, the prime suspect in the murder of one of her loved ones. The crew kept a tight lid on the story-only confirming that the neck hanging attack on her-may expose Sara (Jorja Fox) and Gil's relationship and will affect it in a unique way.

On the day of the shoot, Clarke was dressed in a cheesy, "hoe"-down dress, and seemed slickly cool as ice. Big Cheese Will Petersen even had remark directed at our reporter,"When you're done, I gotta job for you. You can shovel horse$*&^ behind George Eads (Nick Stokes.)" The journalist then mumbled back, "Who's George Eads?"

LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD, MO' FO'!!
-THE LAST, REAL....NON-CGI B.S., ACTION THRILLER IS BACK AT THE PARTY, PAL.

POSH SPICE'S BITCHINESS- THREAT TO DERAILING NEW PRIME TIME SHOW.

"She waltzes around with her icy attitude." told a key staffer on the new NBC show on her husband's trip to save U.S. big league soccer. "We think she's full of herself and not very nice. She's very picky, demanding and rude."

She frequently ignores all staff and is prone to child-like temper tantrums over minor incidents. "The show is designed to make her a star in the States, but she's dreaming if she thinks that's going to happen," stated the upper-management crew man.

ONCE BRITNEY SPEARS REGROWS HER HAIR--SHE'LL WRITE A TELL ALL NOVEL WITH K-FED (!?), FOR $10 MILLION.

After her latest stint in rehab, she'll claim in the book, that the Paparazzi drove her to depression, hair sheering craziness and as most had feared- to near suicide. Kevin Federline will add his take on the parts of "her" story that actually involve him.

UGLY BETTY STAR FORCED INTO PANTS FOR SEQUEL.

America Ferrera, due to a pre-existing sequel option in contract, shall be forced to star in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, along with Alexis "Gilmore Girls/Sin City" Bidel, and Amber Tamblyn (Beloved, but departed Joan of Arcadia.)

The Warner Bros. movie will begin filming in June, when her show is on hiatus. It's considered a first since, since most modern chick flicks rarely get follow-ups. Ferrera will get top billing, when she was third after the title- in the first film.

DESPITE HIS IMMENSE LIKABILITY, IS PATRICK "MCDREAMY" DEMPSEY....
THE MOST HATED AT GREY'S ANATOMY??

Most woman consider him prime breeding material, even lesbians!? Still,
the hero of TV's No. 1 show... may the most reviled among the other cast members, particularly those that are supposed to be his on-air rivals (Issiah {I hate F*&(ots} Washington.)

This feeling is surprising, giving Dempsey's chipper attitude and witty retorts. This charge is also weird, despite other dumb ass/diva attitudes from the rest of the cast: Washington-already mentioned, Knocked Up's Katty Heigl salary fight, stemming from the controversy with forcibly, outed friend T.R. Knight, and Ellen Pompeo's outrageous salary demands and tendency to belittle the 16 hour working crew members.

IS THE SANJAYA MALAKAR EFFECT, AN EXAMPLE OF ART IMITATING AMERICAN DREAMZ??!!

Score-
First Contact: Lt. Cmdr.
Official Rank: Lt.

I actually saw this in theatre, but obviously the film was made for DVD, as it quickly tanked about a year ago. Still, this parody of America's monster hit talent competition, finds this season's American Idol is following the little seen movie- a little too closely.

Basically, Hugh Grant beautifully plays- the fusion of Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest of the Dreamz show and thinks its just of another season of looking for suckers, one of whom will get to be a real pop star.

This year, Mandy Moore's wanna-be, slightly classier Britney type, is caught faking her emotions on her tryout tape. Grant- after a worrisome pause, declares her "A Dirty Little Bitch," instantly falls in love with her and basically attempts to rig the show in her favor.

Her key rival, a Arab refugee- Omer Obeidi with a winning drive and smile. He sings these OK, pro-American songs that somehow keep getting passes from the U.S. voters. Worse yet, the kid is forced by old, terrorist ties to get to the finals, so they can blow-up the audience and crew in the million dollar round across the country.

I remember the audience of this satire actually connecting with the 1-D characters, Grant (snarky, and vain) and Moore (whose selfish & frigid) do end up together and strike that final match of violence, when the Malakar like kid, comes to his senses & dumps the explosives in the restroom (before meeting the Bush-like U.S. president, the target of the attack.)

Her well-meaning, but thick headed boyfriend (Chris Klein) finds Grant & Moore doing it backstage.

He finds the bomb and exposes them as cheats during her act. Long story short- Grant while convincing the Solider boy, not blow up the studio, (successfully figuring he just wanted to blow off some his anger), accidentally sets off the bomb with the camera and kills them both. Everyone else escapes, inclined the Prez and Moore, dolled up- but covered in dark dust. Moore and Omer both lose the money- to Klein by popular vote. Moore...despite cheating, ends up the new host of the show. Only on FOX.

The film is good for rental as the film is funny, even when the bad mix of media and political satire never go well together. Seth Meyers from SNL and Dennis Quaid's dead-on impression of the nation's least popular and arguably, dumbest leader- add to the film unbalanced equation. Its has very good moments that don't add up too much in message or understanding. Dreamz gives encompasses a that was fun feel, but ultimately becomes very pointless and instantly forgettable.

But, what do you think about the film and/or the odd similarity to the real Idol competition? Click on the comments tab & Type away...

UPDATE ON 24 SPIN-OFF, NOW CALLED COMPANY MAN.

Roswell alum Jason Behr (Max Evans) will be one dragged into espionage work by the NSA through Heroes co-star Stana Katic. The pilot will have the man attempted to find enough info to destroy a defense contracting firm, with an possible SD-6-esque tie to a terrorist sleeper cell.

EDDIE MURPHY GOES WARP NINE, OVER A "WHITE" HOT GIRL, IN STARSHIP DAVE!!

DUDE, THIS IS AN EXCLUSIVE!!

In the film- Murphy plays....a living starship run by mini-aliens that are friendly, who are doing recon. exploration on Earth (there's NO other way to say this.)

The aliens' mission is compromised when "the ship" appears to be falling in love with an Earth woman, The 40 Year old Virgin's Elizabeth Banks (the girl who screwed a shower facet as a warm-up for Steve Carell!!)

The naturally sweet, high concept, romantic comedy also stars Gabrielle Union and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back's cameoist Marc Blucas who may help or are trying to destroy this paring.

Right now, a highly realistic carnival is in the New York area of Universal Studios, Hollywood. Hundreds of extras are having a decent time, riding a huge functional roller coaster, tilt a whirl and a Ferris wheel.

Ex-80's sit-com star, producer of Smallville, and arrogant scumbag, director Brain Robbins (alleged by his ex wife) gives the two and 1/2 block spectacle, true authenticity. The best example of which is the lame, obscure arcade games in the back ground (a barely working Sega Power Drift game, late '70s shooting alley and a clown ball rolling game.) I guess modern Carnies can't afford OutRun 2, Time Crisis 3, and/or Tekken 4 & 5?

THIS WEEK- ON...TO CATCH A PREDATOR: 3 SOON TO BE EX-DISNEY EMPLOYEES...

In Florida, Fox News ("your voice for evil") confirmed on their website that three men: "Julio Segundo, a 21-year-old intern; Richard Gaugh, a 55-year-old part-time instructor at Disney's Animal Kingdom; and Thierry Ferron, a 44-year-old electronics technician," were caught in "Operation Cyber Hawk, an undercover operation aimed at luring sexual predators out of the woodwork."

Disney refused comment- other than to state through Zoraya Suarez- their PR rep, is taking the incidents "seriously" and must "take appropriate action."



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ASHLEY JUDD'S HIGH CRIME: INFERTILITY!?



An unconfirmed report states that the Ensign Lefler's "plumbing is (all) fucked up" and is seeking help with alternate means of legal conception.

Details are still sketchy and may explain why the actor's plate has been so empty lately, as she and her husband have been trying to emotionally deal the pain and pressure of family. More to come, if and when it comes in.

BEING JOHN MALKOVICH IS HELL (SOMETIMES.)

At a well-kept Santa Monica eatery, a crew member grips about working on an alleged update to the Arthur C. Riley classic 2001: A Space Odyssey. They were shooting footage outside, and some lookie-loos came over to this gentleman.

They asked for what movie they were shooting and he told them. Then, they asked who the star was and he said John Malkovich. The barely 18 yr. old girl innocently replied,"Oh...Who's that?" The crew member rolled his eyes to his best friend, as their order arrived.

MARCIA! MARCIA! MARCIA! WAS ON COCAINE?! COCAINE?! COCAINE!?

Maureen McCormick: timeless hottie & hopelessly trapped in mod 70's looks, on the classic sit-com, The Brady Bunch is finally dealing with some huge skeletons in her past.

She confirmed that she had an eating disorder (bulimia-overeating & throwing up food) and the snorting of the white pony. The vomiting began, soon after she returned to public school at age 17.

Then, a scumbag boyfriend gave the now 50 year old ex-actress, her first fix with snow.Only through "therapy and faith" has helped Lady Brady off her dangerous addictions.