EU

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

HANCOCK ATTEMPTS TO MUSCLE DENZEL WASHINGTON OUT OF THE WAY, TO PLAY BARACK OBAMA IN UPCOMING FLICK.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Thursday, January 01, 2009
















NEW SEGMENT!

CELEBRITY HOMOPHOBIA: JUDY REYES

EXCLUSIVE!!
A security guard worked the New Years Night party, at the Wiltern Theater. He noticed the arrogant Scrubs star- walking about in her cocktail dress, not as sexy or as noticeable, as half the sluttier dressed woman there. One of the girls which was there, was giving him her phone number ( a young Teri Hatcher type,) when her boyfriend intervened and took her home.

Then, while he was sat near the Ladies bathroom on a bench (on his break.) Reyes passed by him- with two equally bigoted white girlfriends (one blond and one red haired.) They began making faces and comments- as to how normal he was, because Reyes thought he was gay. The red haired girl remarked (since he started listening,) "me...too," and they all crept into the bathroom. After a few minutes, one girl (allegedly Reyes, but most likely the blond, then extended the bullying with this:

"Some....Boy (secondary slur for blacks) was looking at me like he wanted me, when we all know he's gay." They continued (as apparently all gay bullies do) that he "should just come out of the closet (to justify their hate speech and gaydar) and "join [them] in the [Ladies] bathroom where [he] belongs."

After they left, they all seemed stunned the he and other party guests listening-who looked at them- with surprise and contempt. They all walked to the top of the stairs, after choosing to leave individually. Once they did, Reyes then said sheepishly, "I...still think, you're gay!" Finally, they all laughed and pranced themselves up the stairs.

The next day (near Beverly Hills,) apparently Reyes had stalked the guard down, with a weirdly interested look on her face. She was talking on the phone and spoke quietly, other that to call him a "He-bitch" over the phone. The guard simply declared the confused hate monger, "A fucking cunt" and went about his business. Reyes (without apology or explanation) left the area- several minutes later.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

ACTOR GIVES DETAILS ON NEXT SEASON'S GOSSIP GIRL.

GET DISCOVERED BY CD EXEC RODNEY JERKINS, IN ON-LINE VIDEO GAME.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

HOW CHRIS ROCK AND BEN STILLER ARE KICKING IT NEW SCHOOL YEAR, G.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Wednesday, December 24, 2008






CAN SENSITIVE WIMP MICHEAL CERA, BE A BIG SCREEN GILLIGAN?

The creator of the popular, idiotic, sitcom that refuses to die-
Sherwood Schwartz,plus his son Lloyd Schwartz have inked deal to
make a silver screen version of Gilligan’s Island.

"I loved Gilligan’s Island as a kid, and am not against the idea of a re-imagining of the series… But it seems to me that LOST is our generation’s version
of the 1960’s television series, and anything closer to the source material would
just be too silly (somewhat like John Goodman's Flintstones movie.)

Schwartz warned the audience of his plan- at the Beverly Hills induction ceremony of
Television Academy’s Hall of Fame. He proclaimed to TV
Guide "that he wants Michael Cera to play Gilligan and Beyonce Knowles
to play Ginger."
IS KATE WINSLET GETTING DESPERATE FOR A OSCAR? (BECOMING MOVIE'S ANSWER TO AMERICA TV STAR SUSAN LUCCI.)

Monday, December 22, 2008

JAMIE FOXX WISHES EVERYONE A MERRY CHRISTMAS, DAMN IT!
CHRISTINA RICCI'S FEAR AND LOATHING APPARENT,WHILE ON A BEVERLY HILLS SHOPPING SPREE.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Monday, December 15, 2008

JEN ANISTON GETS "PRETTY NAKED" IN MARLEY & ME
FINALLY- A MAN GETS PAID, AFTER THE DIVORCE:NICE GUY RITCHIE FINISHES FIRST
OVER THE MATERIAL GIRL... TO THE TUNE OF $76 MILLION!!

Thursday, December 11, 2008



THE PROMISE OF A NEW CONTRACT-


ABDUL CLEANS UP IN NEW EIGHT FIGURE DEAL.

Paula Abdul expressed in a Barbara Walter's radio interview,that she "maybe unhappy" and "under contract"- as the resident hot nut job, on the nation's top show. Fox decided to- show her the money, by double her current contract to almost $10 million bucks, for next season's American Idol,its ninth season.

This would up her, from her current fee of 5 million. This is after having to admit to herself- that there's little chance in hell- of matching top lead judge and the most hated man in America, Simon Cowell, who pulls down about $30 million annually. Fox executives concurrently agreed with Abdul that she worth the cash and "They definitely want her back." Accordingly to Walters herself- there's a "95 % chance" of renewal.

The Straight Up songstress also revealed- she felt the strange, suicidal vibe- coming from the contestant Paula GoodSpeed. The love of Arsenio Hall's life, "begged" them to not let GoodSpeed audition (back during season 5)and thought this put the crew's lives (including the backstage workers, co-judge Randy Jackson and Host Ryan Seacrest) in danger.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Thursday, December 04, 2008

J. ANI RESPONDS TO BABY CHARGES + IS CHRISTINA AGUILERA READY JOIN ANGIE JOLIE IN FEMINIST ACTION FILMS?

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Monday, December 01, 2008

Friday, November 28, 2008

IS BRITNEY READY TO GO BACK TO THE MEDIA CIRCUS?

JAMIE KENNEDY- ON HOW HE PROTECTS SEXY NEW BOSS, J-LOVE FROM THE GHOST.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008




SPEARS CLIMBING BACK THE CHARTS- DECIDES TO CLIMB ALL OVER K-FED'S BACK.

Despite Spears showing the world: her vagina in public, doing public nervous breakdowns, being on drugs or drunk most of the time, and shining in
mental institution commitment (to the point- the state takes her kids away from her,) feels that K-Fed may not be the best influence on her kids.

"[My sons are] staring to learn words like 'stupid,' and Preston says
the F-word now sometimes," revealed Spears. "He doesn't get it
from us. He must get it from his daddy. I say it, but not around my
kids." So, the kids has no friends, or access to cable TV or the net where they could here these things freely?

Since regaining custody, while her father has been manging her career and affairs lately, Spears is more fixated on motherhood to Sean Preston, 3, and
Jayden James(2).

"I feel like an old person now," she says. "I do! I go to bed at,
like, 9:30 every night, and I don't go out or anything."

Since Spears lack of partying is boring to her fans, she's will still spend this
Thanksgiving in Europe to expand sales her first hit single in years (Womanizer) on I-Tunes.

Still, with Brit's tour of being the queen of misery nearly over, K-Fed's backers feel that Britney need to "look in the mirror dear," and realizes she still not the best person to raise children either yet.
AUSTRALIA DEBUTS IN NEW YORK!

KANYE WEST,LUDACRIS AND ALLEGED NEO-RACISTS GUNS AND ROSES NEW CD DROPS

HARRY POTTER NEAR END OF THE RD., WITH A 1/2 BLOOD PRINCE.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

ANGIE JOLIE IGNORES JEN ANI. "UNCOOL" COMMENT AND REVEALS IN MOTHERHOOD.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

IS NICOLE KIDMAN JOINING ANGIE JOLIE IN RETIREMENT (IN A FEW YEARS.)

Monday, November 17, 2008


SASHA BARON COHEN CRASHES FLOUNDERING NBC HIT MEDIUM.


While in New York, the Borat star and Andy Kaufman-like comic destroyed a take on the spartan,super natural drama while lead Patricia Arquette was on set, as the ultra-feminine and mousy psychic Allison DuBois.

Cohen played a unnoticeable extra. He starting talking loudly in the scene, and was quickly booted by the security officers when they recognized him, in his latest alter ego- mouthy "fashion" host Bruno.

The show's producer have no knowledge how Cohen got on set and/or was able to record his performance for his own use, on their show. This follows a recent incident on Nov. 7-in Los Angeles,when the shock comic filmed new forced interviews, as a sequel to his controversially and highly successful comedy mega-hit Borat.
DIRECTOR CAT HARDWICKE EXPLAINS TWILIGHT

Friday, November 14, 2008

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


NEW KNIGHT RIDER 3000 TO FIRE FIVE CAST MEMBERS.

The show will return to the original mission- under the first Micheal Knight of going on the road "and helping more regular people, everyman."

The show will drop its CIA based "terrorist-of-the-week formula" and unpopular characters played by Sydney Tamiia Poitier, Yancey Arias and Bruce Davison, after the 13th show. Still, it was hinted that Poitier and Davison may return,in a very limited capacity, too.

Knight executive producer/show runner Gary Scott
Thompson threw up his hands and declared, "It's a reboot,"

No new new regulars are planned for the show, which
will still star the five main characters: KITT, Mike (Justin Bruening),
Sarah (Deanna Russo), Billy (Paul Campbell), and Zoe (Smith Cho.)

Cho's part looks to be expanding,due to her young Lucy Lui type vibe. The show will do celebrity "stunt" casting,when viewers will notice the changes on shows 10-11 after Sunday Night Football. Knight has had its ass handed to it since starting and has barely 5 million viewers.
DE NIRO TO PAINT DANGEROUS HOUSES?!

THE OBAMA GIRLS TO GUEST ON HANNAH MONTANA.
OLIVIA MUNN'S FASHION ATTACK.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

SIMON COWELL SHAFTED IN LOVE AND MILEY'S NEW BOYFRIEND NOT IN JAIL YET (FOR STATUTORY.)


REAL NEWS: SINGER WILL.I.AM TO FRONT A POST OBAMA WINING MUSIC VIDEO!

Tuesday, November 04, 2008



DID ABC DROP AN ALLEGEDLY BITCHY ACTRESS- BECAUSE THE CHEMISTRY OF THE LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP- WASN'T WORKING OUT?

Brooke Smith was dropped on Grey's Anatomy, because allegedly her chemistry with Callie Torres (Sara Ramirez) was seemingly strianed and passionless. The network saw the ratings freefall to the point, CBS powerhouse CSI- regained the lead over the feminist medical drama.

"I really hoped we were going to show what happens when two women
fall in love and that they were going to treat it like any heterosexual couple
on TV. And so I was surprised and disappointed when they just suddenly told me
that they couldn't write for my character anymore," stated Smith.

Creator/Show runner Shonra Rimes:"Brooke Smith was obviously not fired for playing a lesbian. Clearly it's not an
issue as we have a lesbian character on the show – Calliope Torres. Sara Ramirez
is an incredible comedic and dramatic actress and we wanted to be able to play
up her magic. Unfortunately, we did not find that the magic and chemistry with
Brooke's character would sustain in the long run. The impact of the Callie/Erica
relationship will be felt and played out in a story for Callie. I believe it
belittles the relationship to simply replace Erica with 'another lesbian.' If
you'll remember, Cristina mourned the loss of Burke for a full season."

Critics are disturbed, that the decision was reached while in CA,the controversial pro-straight, marriage proposition was being decided. Also, L.A. Times reporter Mary McNamara offered this theory:
"I suspect what irked whoever made the call… [was] not that they were both women
— good heavens, how dull — but that they were, how shall we say, average size.
With hips, you know, and actual breasts. Not two girly waifs exchanging a stolen
kiss or a grope in the women's room stall over a line of coke, not an
androgynous club kid putting her best moves on some sitcom heroine. But two
women of substance, physically and psychologically, falling in love and talking
about it way too much, the way women tend to do."

Friday, October 31, 2008

"[CHRIS ROCK] PLAY A ZEBRA AGAIN!"

BONDING THROUGH THE YEARS.

LATEST ON JENNIFER HUDSON'S TRIPLE DEATH TRAGEDY.

COPS BREAK UP UPPITY KATE HUDSON'S PARTY AND SOMEONE INTELLECTUALLY BITCH SLAPS LIZ HASSELBACK AGAIN.
DECADES LATER, THE MJ VIDEO THRILLER BREAKS ANOTHER RECORD

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Monday, October 27, 2008


MARCIA ELIMINATED- FROM BRADY WEEK ON TRIVIAL PURSUIT:America Plays!

Source-GSNN.com

In light of Maureen McCormick's new book, where she reveals her decent into drug use and dating comic icon Steve Martin(while barely legal) Marcia! X 3 was edited out of her appearance on the struggling You Tube-esque game show.

The other “Brady Bunch” siblings — Greg, Peter, Bobby, Jan and Cindy — will be playing the game on Nov. 10.

Technically, Peter (Christopher Knight, that is) will be hosting the show. That’s been Knight’s gig since the nationally-syndicated game show based on the popular board game began Sept. 22.

Barry Williams (Greg), Mike Lookinland (Bobby), Eve Plumb (Jan) and Susan Olsen (Cindy) will take turns being captains for “America’s Team.” They will represent the viewers at home who submit trivia used on the show. Rumors have begun circulating- that other network shows like Chuck and Terminator:Sarah Conner Chronicles are being contacted about being on the show.

“Brady Week” culminates on Nov. 14 with a Brady competition.

To submit questions for “Trivial Pursuit,” go to www.tpamericaplays.com. For every question the in-studio constants answer correctly, the winnings go into the “Studio Bank.” But if “America’s Team” has more money in its bank after three rounds, all the viewers who submitted questions that day get the cash. The winnings for each show, average between $10K-$21,000.
FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, SAW FAILS TO TOP BOX OFFICE. HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 IS THE WINNER.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

BRIT SINGER DIDO ON HER SAFE TRIP HOME.

ANNE HATHAWAY'S EX GETS JAIL TIME.

TRASHY BROOKE HOGAN'S ALLEGED MURDEROUS BROTHER IS RELEASED

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

GWEN PALTROW TALKS TO PRESS, AFTER WORKING OUT HER STORY WITH MADGE.

AGENT SCULLY POPS OUT ANOTHER HUMAN UNIT AND ANNE HATHAWAY QUITS SMOKING.
AGENT 99 AT THE MARRIED LONDON GALA.

Monday, October 20, 2008


DENNIS MILLER IS A HOMOPHOBIC A-HOLE (BUT LIBERALS ALREADY KNEW THAT.)

A POPCORN STORIES EXCLUSIVE!

Last year, at a showing of the smash hit American Gangster, (in the rich man's mecca- Santa Monica,CA) a man minding his own business- when he could clearly evil Republican turncoat: Dennis Miller, in the crowd. After the trailer for the miserable bomb, Jumper finished- the man commented verbally to himself, "I can't follow that one." This began with Miller and the crowd, a weird reaction to sci-fi film with people in his general area of the audience and caused them to laugh heartily.

After the grand Denzel Washington/Russel Crowe/Carla Cugino/Ridley Scott directed epic finished. The innocent man stood to join the audience in cheers of the artistic triumph. The scummy, uncompassionate Conservative breezed passed him and remarked
"We all know that you're gay!" and laughed his trademark ignorant geek chortle and left.

The man didn't even know the unfunny, "Wrong",Grizzly Adams looking comic, who career has virtually died since being cancelled from his former, liberal leaning,HBO talk fest and has failed in all TV gigs since then. The bigoted MC retreated back, to his obscure, conservative disinformation radio talk program.
MAX PAYNE AND CLARE-BEAR DISH, ON THE RITCHIE/MADONNA SPLIT
MRS. SMITH AND DIRTY HARRY WELCOME A CHANGELING INTO THE WORLD
W. FINDS PAYNE AT THE BOX OFFICE.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

ANGELINA JOLIE DOES ODO'S PEOPLE PROUD IN CHANGELING.

REESE WITHERSPOON ATTEMPTS COMEBACK IN CHRISTMAS X 4.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Friday, October 10, 2008

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Tuesday, October 07, 2008



TOMMY LEE JONES WANTS W. LA VA HOSPITAL UPGRADES IN THE 21ST.

One of our operatives, meet secretly with Men In Black II kingpin, near the veteran's medical center in Westwood.

He seemed concerned- that the the facility's infrastructure is sorely outdated. It's building technology hasn't been updated since the 40s. It's overall day-to-day tech, has only been updated since the late 70s, when the seminal hit series Wonder Woman (on a regular basis) last taped there.

The great actor was leaning toward- opening communications that could lead to a massive Hollywood based fundraiser, to help build modern buildings and get modern technology to help properly heal of our fighting men and woman. Jones may plan to do this after the current election, whomever is in the White House.

Jones felt that it was stupid that- in the greatest country in the world, our freedom fighters were making do with ancient tech and medical equipment. Plus, he would make a sizable financial contribution regardless, of any help from his Tinseltown friends.
SAM L. JACKSON JOINS BERNIE MAC AND ISAAC HAYES (IN THEIR LAST ROLES) IN...SOUL MEN!
SINGER MAXWELL GETS OFF HIS BUTT AND MAKES MUSIC AGAIN.
HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 TO MOVE TO THEATRES
-Could it bomb like last summer's HSM:Get In the Picture reality show?

Monday, October 06, 2008


JOHNNY DEEP TO POCKET $36 MILLION FOR PIRATES...4
-Deal makes the Sleepy Hollow star, the highest paid actor of all time.

The flick, will see Captain Jack Sparrow looking "for the elixir of
eternal youth." Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley WILL NOT join Deep in the final movie. The title allegedly is Pirates of The Caribbean: Song of the Peg-Legged Parrot.

The deal is will also include Deep playing "the Mad Hatter in
Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland" and "The Lone Ranger's sidekick Tonto."
DICAPRIO AND CROWE DISCUSS THEIR BODY OF LIES
THE ALLEGIDLY BIGOTED JO BROS. TALK ABOUT THEIR NEW REALITY SHOW

Later.